15. A post on subspace

I have been meaning to write a post on subspace for about a week now.  This is attempt #9 as the first 8 all found the delete button.

I’ve never been fond of the working definitions people associate with the term subspace, the most common of which being the state of being resulting from adrenaline and endorphins following corporal punishment.

I’ve always felt that subspace, for those who allow themselves to be truly vulnerable, reaches much deeper into the soul than that of a physical response.  Some conversations with Watson last year have me believing that subspace does involve a release of certain brain chemicals and this state of being can become addictive, but neither of us wagered a guess on exactly what chemicals they were.

I find it difficult to explain subspace to someone that has never experienced it.  In that way, it’s a lot like love.  You can describe love all you want to someone who’s never been in it but they can never truly grasp it until they experience it first hand.

While I crave subspace, I would not describe it as a good feeling.  It is an entire mental state that shifts our focus in a desirable way.  For myself, I feel that inside subspace I am centered.  My life force feels in alignment.  Distractions from the outside world don’t phase me.  I exist in a manner which pleases me because it is pleasing to her.  She is the center of my universe and everything that entails becomes abundantly clear.  All of the other noise fades away.

While any Domme that has never been submissive will not have first hand understanding of this mind state, I find a good number of lifestyle Dommes that shares bits of their lives with us on the internet are able to control it freely.  Not only that, but many of them strongly enjoy controlling it.

I will paraphrase an example that I have read dozens of times across various blogs that involve chastity.  The words I remember reading are along the lines of this: “When she take control of his arousal and his sexual pleasure, all of the energy he used to spend thinking about his own pleasure becomes directed at her.”

I believe these words perfectly describe my feelings as I drift into subspace.  I exist for her.  She decides what is right and wrong.  My purpose is to please her.  Because chastity has such a noticeable and immediate effect, it is one of the reasons I see it as appealing… even if that means giving up control of something dear to me.

In that example, chastity serves as the trigger for subspace.  It instills a set of feelings within the sub that push his mind into a focused and controlled state.  From my times spent in chastity, the sound of the lock closing shut crushes the male ego in a wave of realizations: She took my penis away from me. She is in control.  She is all that matters.  Any desire that goes against her will is selfish.  Selfish subs are unworthy.

What makes this difficult to express is that it is so far removed from the rational mind.  The soul craves these feelings.  The rational mind just feels loss.  The sex experiences unconscious arousal even though sexual desire is laughable.  My mind realizes, I do not want this, but it feels so right for my being.

An interesting thing about subspace triggers is that they are almost all negative things to the rational mind.  They are all symbols of control.  They are all things that make us feel more… owned… possessed… and consumed.  Domestic discipline is a trigger because we deserve to be corrected to better serve her will.  Humiliation is a trigger because it strips away our pride and dignity and the last of our resistance.  Bondage is a trigger because it displays her control and our helplessness within it.  Rules are a trigger because we must remain vigilante and mindful of her instructions.  Fear is a trigger because we are at her mercy.  Anticipation is a trigger because we never know what will be asked of us next.

I believe that most subs show this on their face.  They humble themselves as the ego dies.  They cringe and frown as she keeps them off balance.  You can see it on their faces as they are shoved deeper into the abyss.  Their sex betrays them while they may appear in agony, their penises show the truth.  Their soul calls for this.  The deeper they go, the more they love, and the more they are willing to endure.  This is how I feel in subspace.  Go deep enough and the rational mind falls silent.  All that is left is the submissive, completely vulnerable and with a heart overflowing with love.  He exists to please her.

This is what I crave.  It is my subspace.


7 thoughts on “15. A post on subspace

  1. Do you think that all people have the capability to enter subspace ? Is it somewhat like Stockholm Syndrome?
    Would you say it’s a personality trait to enjoy subspace or do you feel it only applies to some people, i.e. vanilla people need not apply?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, joe, and thank you for writing.

      I’m not sure if all people have the capacity to enter it and I believe that the depth and style of it varies from sub to sub. Dominants have their own form of Domspace that varies as well, but mirrors subspace in a sense that the basic levels involve adrenaline and endorphins while the deeper ones involve tapping into more primal and pure emotions in the presence of intimacy.

      I would definitely say that my mindset does resemble Stockholm Syndrome on its surface. The primary factor that separates subspace is its connection to sexuality. While someone may be programmed to be obedient, I find that “submissives” are the ones that get sexually aroused by that obedience.

      If there is a singular trait that provides access to subspace it would be a willingness to be totally exposed and vulnerable to a Dominant. When you open yourself up completely, the wave of love can feel overwhelming.

      I find that there are very few people who are willing to be this vulnerable, vanilla or submissive.

      That being said, I view subspace as sort of like a swimming pool. There is the shallow end that you can maneuver quite easily and a deep end that can swallow you up. I do think that a great number of people can access the shallower end. e.g. being a thoughtful and attentive lover and finding strong and intimate bonds during those times is something that many people can reach.

      I believe reaching the deeper end requires a greater willingness to let go of the self. If you think about the phrase, “I exist to make her happy,” there are some people that find it romantic and desirable. Others cannot fathom feeling that way, nor wanting to feel that way.

      I try not to think about it in terms of vanilla vs. kinky, but more so people who are willing to open their hearts completely and face all of the risks that entails.

      Take care and thank you for the wonderful questions. If I didn’t answer them well enough please let me know and I an try to elaborate further.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Any time, Joe.

          I believe the mental side of subspace has triggers that are individual to the person. There are certain acts that could bring me there almost instantly if I don’t resist them. Having a clear mind helps a lot for this and being distracted may require more of a process. I have gone through extended periods of remaining in this mental state, eg 12+ hours but those cases require some additional factors that can help subspace “feed itself.”

          Unfortunately it isn’t a switch that I can turn on or off, but a Domme that understands my triggers can induce it with very little effort.

          Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s