30 Days of Kink: Day 4

Write about any early experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

 You’d think that after sharing these several times already that I would feel less embarrassed by now.

After a few years of M’s bondage games I began to crave her contact.  I would guess this happened at around age 10.  I would never admit to this nor did I try to make it apparent.  I would just… hope that she would come and find me and secretly I think I would look forward to her tying me up.

Around this time I began to “resist” a bit more and the outcome was tighter bonds, stricter control, and more physical contact.  If I continued to put up a fight it would end up with her mounting me and holding me down.  When she was 13 and I was 10 she was over a foot taller than me and could easily overpower me.  I secretly liked feeling overpowered.

As much as it makes me blush and feel ashamed to admit it, I began to crave the smell of her.  The winter hat that was pulled down over my face and the scarf used to tie it in place were always hers and gave off the odor of fruity shampoo and adolescent perfume.  She always smelled sweet.

Outside of M there were some distinct hints when playing with my G.I. Joe figures.  Around this time my solo play became having the female characters capture a male character that I associated myself with and would hold them captive and keep them controlled by tying them up and/or incarcerating them in some way.

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