Dominant and submissive: Noun vs. Adjective

I’ve been having quite a few D/s discussions lately which has been nice, but I have to say that many people have very different definitions of Dominant and submissive and what those words entail.

I really don’t wish to hash out every point of view here, but I would like to make a handful of statements that display my beliefs.  Feel free to disagree with me via comments 🙂

Dominant behavior or a dominant personality is not the same as being a Dominant.  That is, the existence of the adjective does not make the noun.  There are plenty of submissives that carry a dominant personality in vanilla life or act with many dominant behaviors.  There are plenty of vanilla people that have dominant personalities and behaviors that do not associate with being a Dominant.

Submissive behavior or a submissive personality is not the same as being a submissive.  In my experiences I’ve never met someone with a submissive personality or that regularly engaged in submissive behaviors (beyond work and manners) that was secretly a Dominant.  That being said, not all people that exhibit submissive behaviors or personalities are submissives.

What separates the noun from the adjectives?  In its simplest form, spaces: Domspace and subspace.

To speed things along I will use completely simplified definitions.

Domspace: a desirable mindset and feeling set linked with sexual response and obtained through dominance, dominant acts, or in response to submissive acts.

Subspace: a desirable mindset and feeling set linked with sexual response and obtained through submission, submissive acts, or in response to dominant acts.

With these in mind, I believe that a Dominant is someone that acts to feed their Domspace.  Similarly, I believe that a submissive is someone that acts to feed their subspace.

Why does it have to be sexual?  Because if it wasn’t, there would be no reason to be a Dominant or a submissive… we would simply all be people that exerted behaviors or personalities of the corresponding adjectives… just like all the people that do it without involving kink in their lives.

Note:  I don’t expect anyone to really learn anything from this, I’m merely gathering my thoughts so that it is easier to articulate them the next time I am forced trying to explain the differences.

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4 thoughts on “Dominant and submissive: Noun vs. Adjective

    1. Thank you, Dave.

      I would love it if the general public could see it as well. Even in the kink world I wish there was a greater understanding of Domspace and subspace. It would make communication and understanding if needs a whole lot easier.

      Take care.

      Like

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