76. 30 Days of Kink: Day 23

Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? If so, how?

They have changed quite a bit.

It is difficult to describe but there are a lot of things that seemingly leave fantasy and enter the realm of realistically possible.

I believe a lot of it is due to acclimation.  When I first entered the lifestyle, the idea of having my wrists tied or a blindfold were enough to get my heart rate pounding and have my dick bursting out of my pants.  Then it happened a dozen times and the rush gradually died out.  It became routine.  My psyche built up a tolerance like getting used to a drug.  Push it farther.  Ropes become chains.  A blindfold becomes a hood and a gag.  The rush returns… until we do it a dozen times.

This step by step process has led to a drastic shift in what I desire over the years.  Now I need things to be pretty extreme to get the rush.

In regards to perspectives, I understand a whole lot more about what is sustainable.  e.g. K was a micro-manager but the majority of Dommes don’t want a sub bothering to ask them if they can go to the bathroom.

The biggest thing I have come to learn about sustainable dynamics is that dealing “in absolutes” that are never allowed to change as the relationship evolves is frequently a poor choice.  A lot of D/s is a balancing act.  Be too strict and it creates a massive amount of work for the Domme.  Be too lax and it won’t feel “real” to the sub.  The balancing point is often to have the Domme pick a couple of important topics that they are willing to be strict about (e.g. orgasm control) and putting less emphasis on less important things (e.g. a sub going to the bathroom).

The trend I have seen is that people who deal only in absolutes frequently end up single in the long run.  Those who remain flexible, adaptable, mobile, and evolve as necessary frequently end up in happy and successful relationships.  Everything and everyone will change over time.  Allowing things to evolve in a natural way is sometimes better than trying to force a peg into an old hole that it no longer fits in.


3 thoughts on “76. 30 Days of Kink: Day 23

      1. Thank you, Ms Dixie.

        I can’t imagine things being stagnant until they can’t go any farther. I think it is important that both parties are constantly moving forward.

        Take care.


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