84. Why Femdom is fair

I’ve encountered quite a few people in the blogosphere that you would call newbies.  They always seem to find their way to the most intense 24/7 Domme’s blog who has been married to her sub for 10+ years and currently exist at a pretty extreme level of D/s dynamics.  It’s quite common for said newbie to ignore all of the earlier posts covering the history and evolution of the relationship and immediately start in criticizing said Domme for being cruel and unfair.

I’m all for educating people but more often than not these readers just don’t want to listen, learn, or consider a different point of view.  They are trapped in their outsider’s perspective and seem to troll for her to say “you are correct, it is unfair, I will revise how we live our lives and return us to a state of fairness and equality.”

A while ago I did some math and came up with possibly the most straight forward and least romantic reason possible for why Femdom is indeed fair.  Well, that’s not quite true, by the numbers it’s actually unfair to the Domme.  I’m completely ignoring the value of love, companionship, and the like and putting this completely into the realm of numbers.

Let’s assume we are looking at a 24/7 TPE Femdom relationship.  Within this relationship a male sub provides a handful of services that might not always be present in vanilla relationships.  It’s relatively safe to say that he provides her sexual pleasure when she wants it and performs the majority of mundane household tasks on a daily basis.

Basically, I would place the value of the sub’s sexual services at approximately $0.  An argument could be made that these are worth at least the cost of a vibrator and batteries, but a similar argument could be made that a woman can get sex pretty much any time she wants it, and while this isn’t necessarily a wise/safe/clean choice, there is always this free option available.

This leaves the other tasks performed by the sub as the true value gauge.  Unless the sub is professionally trained and with credentials in specific services, this makes him an amateur/unlicensed worker in specialized services and since he will be doing a wide variety of tasks without a specialization, we’ll value his services at minimum wage, which as of right now is $7.25 an hour.  If he were to demand greater value upon his services, due to the over-abundance of available male submissives and shortage of dominant women, the laws of supply and demand dictate that he has no leverage whatsoever.  The end result assuming he is salaried:

• The value of a male servant’s services (weekly): $290.00
• The value of a male servant’s services (monthly): $1256.67
• The value of a male servant’s services (yearly): $15,080.00

Now take into consideration the value of a woman’s dominance.  The services of a professional dominatrix are worth quite a bit, frequently from about $150 an hour on the low end to $600+ on the upper end.  For the sake of ease I’ll work from a value of $200 per hour for this example.  If we go with a salaried formula:

• The value of a female dominant’s services (weekly): $8,000.00
• The value of a female dominant’s services (monthly): $34,666.67
• The value of a female dominant’s services (yearly): $416,000.00

At this rate, it would take a submissive male 28 years of service to exceed the value of 1 year of female dominance.

Around now I’m assuming someone is going, “hey, you evil bastard, you’re twisting statistics to serve your own agenda.”  Are there 40+ hours a week of dominance to justify the salaried rate?  Assuming that at least the male maintains full time employment, this reduces the amount of potential dominance that could occur in a given week.  Some conservative estimates:

• Weekdays = 24 hours – 8 hrs work – 8 hrs sleep – 2 hrs commute = 6 hours of dominance x 5.
• Weekends = 24 hours – 8 hrs sleep = 16 hours of dominance x 2.
• Weekly Total = 62 hours.  So yes, it is possible.

I am now picturing the same someone going, “you dirty son of a bitch, you just twisted it again, there’s no way all of that time is worth $200 an hour.”  I will shift over to a severely conservative approach for this next set of estimates.  If there is 1 hour a day of “play” on weekdays and 2 hours a day of “play” on weekends, the weekly total becomes 9 hours a week.

• The value of a female dominant’s services (weekly): $1,800.00
• The value of a female dominant’s services (monthly): $7,800.00
• The value of a female dominant’s services (yearly): $93,600.00

At this adjusted rate it would only require 7 years of male submissive service to exceed the value of 1 year of female dominance.  Dominant women are getting the short end of the stick, especially if you add in value services such as chastity belt key holding which runs $50-200 a month if provided by a third party.

With this in mind, whenever I read someone going on a rant about how “it’s so unfair that he cooks and cleans and toils while you spank him and deny him pleasure while focusing on your own needs!” I should probably agree.  It is completely 100% unfair… to her.  What she provides is “worth” that much more that he should feel like he’s getting a bargain in exchange for his services.

Yes, this is mostly a work of humor.  Mostly.  🙂

(EDIT Author’s note: I am aware that I had actually mirrored a post similar to this one on the previous version of this blog so it may be a duplicate to a few of the readers that followed in both places.  My apologies if it seems redundant)

• Femdom