108. My Current State of Mind

I haven’t really felt like blogging lately and it’s kind of disappointing.  So much of what I write about is fueled by interaction, discussion, and trying to share a perspective or figure out how someone sees things and that just hasn’t happened as much lately.  To me, blogging is about the exchange of ideas and the rapport built between reader and author (or two authors).  It’s a strange form of personal interaction because it also invites others to join in.  I find this incredibly inspiring when it happens.

I miss it in its absence.

Over the past few weeks I’ve had a few contacts go dark and a few others stop responding to comments and emails although they are still posting on their blog or fetlife, making it obvious they just aren’t responding to me.  I’m also finding a slew of newer bloggers that don’t seem to care about those making comments, which is rather disappointing when what they write is decently interesting.  At some points in time this would have brought my mood down but this time around it just sucks some of the fun out of blogging.

Basically, there’s not enough input coming back in to fuel the stream of words and that is a bit of a bummer.

I know people blog for different reasons but my own reason is social.  If I wanted to keep it all inside I would have a diary.  To share it, meet, and learn from others is why I have a blog.  I’ve been part of the “internet scene” since the mid 90’s and over the course of my life it has been quite common for me to end up with strong friendships from those I met online, often leading to phone calls or offline meetings and the like.  This has happened over the course of my blog as well.

Lately one of my blogging friends has become very close and some of that private correspondence has replaced some of my blogging.  I do still wish to blog but I have a feeling that this friendship has kept me from feeling down about the current state of the blogosphere for me.

As for an update on the fiction front, I have been brainstorming ideas for how to finish Arc 9 of fs01 as well as a couple of bonus chapters.  This is the last arc I plan for the story unless I (or someone else) come up with a really great idea for a 10th arc.

I am finding ways to reach the mindspace I require for writing fiction, it’s just not as easy as before.  Worst case, I will force myself to write the last half of Arc 9 and “fake it” but I would like to keep the quality as consistent as possible.

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