I can’t remember how much of this I have shared here on WP, but over the past month or so I have been struggling with the idea that I might be a little. This is because in one of my deeper submissive mental states I find my feelings closely resembling those of a younger version of myself. Terrified, needing to please, trying to earn affection, and the like. It has been quite confusing for me because while the persona might feel younger, there were some definite differences between it and how I have come to understand littles.
I was finally able to converse with some individuals that were able to shed some light on this. According to them, little space is more of an escape that frees the mind from stress and is meant to be a happy place. My space is more like that of a beaten dog, expecting abuse, expecting to be trampled and denied, and full of anxiety. After some in depth conversation on the topic I am pretty much certain that I am not a little and that my space more closely resembles PTSD (and it probably is PTSD).
So yay, I guess. I have some clarity. If only my job situation would provide me with more I could probably relax and enjoy life a bit more in the meantime.