133. Individual Fantasies

Recently a couple of blogs I follow have made requests for readers to share their sexual fantasies in an effort to give some inspiration for ideas. I have found that at some point I stopped having sexual fantasies. That’s not to say that I don’t fantasize, but I no longer really have singular specific acts that I desire or wish to experience. I fantasize about life. A lifestyle.

For a while now I have come to believe that I only really respond sexually to subspace (submissive mental space). It is what I crave, what I yearn for, and what turns me on. I fantasize about a life that is capable of pushing me into subspace and has dynamics in place to keep me there. I fantasize about a life that may shift the depth of the subspace that I am in, but I never truly leave it.

Such a life doesn’t have any singular act that becomes the focus of my fantasy. This life is a system of interwoven acts, expectations, and rules. It is an interactive creature of actions and reactions where both parties perform their part to keep it pleasurable and sustainable.

I do not think it is valuable to analyze one party within a vacuum. There is a continuous interplay of cause and effect and both parties are involved in performing actions and having reactions. We feed off of one another. The Domme feeds her Domspace from the actions of the sub. The sub feeds his subspace from the actions of the Domme.

I don’t know if I should feel odd in feeling this way. I am starting to feel that I view things differently from most people.


15 thoughts on “133. Individual Fantasies

  1. I do not feel that you should feel “odd” at all! After all, you and I have talked many times about how what we all need and want varies, individual to individual, though there are some commonalities. Maybe you see things different than others, or maybe you don’t…the more important thing in my mind, is how to achieve this desire of yours? How to convert it from a longing to a reality. I long for the day that I open up WordPress and I see a blog from my great friend furcissy about the fulfilling subspace he is experiencing….

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Nora.

      I think some of it may stem from the fact that I have done nearly every individual act I have ever fantasized about. I think the only two remaining involve expensive equipment or involve a third party. I don’t really know though, but every time I fantasize it is an environment and lifestyle.

      If/when things start to head towards that outcome there will likely be a series of blog entries chronicling the misery of significant life changes leading up to it 🙂

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Any time you get truly restrained or imprisoned it actually has a very liberating effect on the mind. All those thoughts about what you should be doing, need to do, and so on, fall away as it is beyond your control.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. I never thought of it that way before! I did have that experience this weekend. I was restrained for about an hour and a half, and I never once thought of anything else beyond what we were doing. I know that my mind has wandered in the past while I having sex…thinking about to do lists, etc. But not this time!!! 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

        3. It does focus you quite a bit.

          I personally find a huge difference when things are truly inescapable vs. the honor system. The less you can do about it, the more liberating it becomes to live in the moment.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. A lifestyle brings meaning to life… it is ‘truly’ living and I don’t want it any other way.

    Posts like this one always reminds me of the breakfast fantasy you wrote. There was nothing sexual, but it definitely spoke to my vagina. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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