I know that not all D/s practitioners are in loving relationships but many of us are. I believe that submission encapsulates a large number of things, some of which match our desires completely and others which may carry a series of conditions or some reluctance and hesitation.
I have come across and experienced varying points of view on these subjects from both the Dominant and submissive sides and these ideas mesh better in some instances than in others.
The willing is always the easiest.
- I love you so much that I will dedicate my existence to your happiness.
- I love you so much that I will do everything in my power to please you.
- I love you so much that I will ______ to ______.
A lot of basic compatibility resides on this level. Ideally, the submissive wants to give the things that the dominant wants to receive.
The conditionals get a bit more complicated.
I love you so much that I would be willing to ______ to ______.
This wording has the ability to change the perceptions of the promised or desired act. For a submissive, this wording generally implies some proof of devotion, love, or sacrifice.
I love you so much that I would be willing to be put in chastity to make you happy. This translates into: I do not want to be put into chastity, but I would make that sacrifice if you desire it. To take something less fetish-related: I love you so much that I would be willing to give up poker night with the guys to stay by your side.
I have seen some rather polarizing reactions from dominants on this sort of statement. Well, I have seen polarizing reactions in vanilla relationships as well.
- Positive: This is a romantic gesture.
- Negative: You don’t really want to do it, so this is impure.
(Not to stereotype but many of you may have witnessed this first hand when someone asks their boyfriend/husband if they want to go to the craft store for scrap-booking supplies.)
It seems that many of the conditionals that end up with differing responses are often on mild to medium topics and are often a reflection of personality rather than something greater.
When getting into more important conditionals people tend to be a lot better with accepting reluctance or hesitation.
I love you so much that I would be willing to give up financial control if _______. Requiring trust, a committed long-term relationship, a history of sound decision-making for the good of the relationship, and so on is seen as wise and prudent.
Just some random thoughts.