Over the years I have often found it difficult when trying to discuss the concepts of forced feminization and related humiliation with women. It is a topic that can be difficult for them to empathize with because there isn’t really an apples to apples comparison that they can envision. Forced masculinization is something I had touched on jokingly in years past but I had never really taken it seriously enough to explore it. Some comments on one of Domina Jen’s recent posts got me thinking about it more over the past week or so. While it doesn’t provide a comparison, I think it does provide some insights.
I will write about this as if it actually exists… even though it doesn’t.
Forced masculinization is when a dominant controls the physical appearance a female submissive. There are frequent rules governing the appearance of the sub, intending to strip her of her femininity and make her appear with more male/masculine characteristics.
Some common rules:
- The sub is not permitted to wear panties, briefs, or thongs. The sub may only wear boxers or boxer briefs.
- The sub must keep her hair cut short with the permitted length determined by the dominant.
- The sub must always wear a sports bra or similarly restrictive undergarment to limit breast prominence.
- The sub is not permitted to wear skirts or dresses. The sub may only wear pants or appropriate length shorts.
- The sub is not permitted to wear makeup or paint their nails. Nails must be kept trimmed short.
- The sub is not permitted to shave their leg or armpit hair.
- The sub is not permitted to wear high-heeled shoes or boots.
- The sub must refer to their clitoris as their “butch dickie.”
Some common applications:
- Frequently a dominant to dress their masculinized sub in a tuxedo and force them to serve as a butler.
- Some dominants will take their sub out to popular male clothing stores and with assistance in their fitting by a sales associate, with the obvious intent that the clothes are meant for her.
- Some dominants will show off their masculinized sub to their dominant friends, encouraging them to make comments about how handsome she looks.
- Some dominants will force their sub to engage in bisexual activities, frequently ordering them to go down on another woman.
- It is common for a dominant to call their sub by a masculine form of their name. e.g. Erika becomes Erik, Stephanie becomes Stephen, Alexis becomes Alex, and so on.
- Some dominants will limit the sub’s permissible physical contact to firm handshakes, high-fives, fist bumps, and bro hugs.
If you are like me, you have read this and found the idea relatively amusing. I went to a small liberal arts college for a couple of years and the rules above described at least 25% of the female student population (who were doing it by choice). Aside from the possibility of forced oral, I have to wager that most women would not be horribly humiliated by this. They might not LIKE it, but if they were taken out for a day in a highly populated area, they wouldn’t end up in tears or blushing so profusely that functioning would be a struggle. They also wouldn’t have to be afraid of the threat of physical violence if they encountered a “gang” of women hanging out.
I do have a feeling that many women would dislike being masculinized. One aspect is that some women have a lot of their confidence tied to their physical appearance and feeling attractive. This would probably take away some confidence by making them less attractive. Another aspect, and probably the more important one, is the concept of choice. If a woman chooses to skip on make-up, skip shaving, sport a low-maintenance haircut, and go with pants, a sweatshirt, and flat shoes for the day, that is her choice to do so. By requiring that, the freedom of choice vanishes and it makes the same options less appealing when you feel trapped by them. If a woman were to gain submissive feelings from such an arrangement, I would have to believe it is mostly because of the removal of choice and the control it symbolizes.
(This differs a bit for men and forced feminization. Domina Jen recently wrote about how a man’s masculinity plays heavily into their identity so stripping them of it will often feel humiliating and degrading. I agree although I would add that if you are male and were raised with frequent exposure to your peer group, developing this identity becomes almost a necessary part of your survival during formative years and often taints how we see ourselves as adults. On the second front, I believe that freedom of choice also plays a very large part in this.)
So why don’t people choose to do this? I have known male dominants, heterosexual female dominants that take on women subs, bisexual female dominants, and lesbian female dominants and none of them that I have known have ever chosen to engage in this activity. One aspect is that it doesn’t induce the same level of shame as it does when feminizing a male, so a dominant wishing to humiliate their sub can find more effective ways to do so. Another aspect is that I have never met a woman that had this for a fetish. While I have met a good number who have had forced bi fantasies, they didn’t involve any gender reversal on their part. I have also yet to meet a submissive woman with a “butch butler” fantasy. The absence of the fantasy makes it less likely to happen.
The last reason I can think of is the differences in what people find attractive across the genders. Men and frequently women, tend to find the female form to be visually appealing. In the lifestyle you are more likely to find dominants having their subs dress (or not dress) in ways that they find MORE appealing, and not less appealing.
By contrast, when you see photos or accounts posted of feminized males, there tend to be two types. 1. Slender and soft featured men that can be quite passable as a woman. 2. The hairy and sometimes overweight older guy that looks pretty awful en femme. In general, you don’t see the chiseled and handsome Adonis of a man decked out in a maid’s dress. Women tend to be attracted to different things, but it seems that feminization seems to be most common in situations where it either makes the male look more pretty or completely terrible. When completely terrible is the choice I have to believe this provides an amusement factor that provides the motivation for doing so. I could be wrong here, but this is what I have gathered over the years.
Unfortunately this example doesn’t really give any insight into curious women as to the humiliation of men that are feminized. The control/forced aspects probably appeal to submission for both sides, but little beyond that.
In general, when I have tried to explain a scenario that a submissive woman could picture with similar levels of embarrassment to a feminized male, the best example I could come up with (assuming that the woman generally dresses in an “ordinary” way) is to dress like how they would picture a street-walking hooker (not an upscale Charlie Sheen-catering hooker), or like a total bimbette. This frequently gives “enough” insight into what it would be like, but it still doesn’t cover the entire spectrum of emotions.
I’m open to input on the subject if anyone has any ideas that contrast, conflict, or elaborate upon mine.