444. Thoughts on D/s and Life

For me, D/s is not in my present.  It is in my future.  With that in mind, I still see my life as being built around D/s.  I see the self that I portray here as my real self and the rest of my life as an act that I perform while I wait for the future to take hold.  I am a submissive and my vanilla vanilla life is pretend.

Through D/s I look for connection and a lifestyle.  I seek the woman that I love with all of myself.  Someone to laugh with.  Someone to cry with.  Someone that I can show all of myself to without restraint.  Someone with thoughts and feelings that resonate with my own.  I will love her as my everything.  I will need her approval, her happiness, and the warmth of her embrace like I need air to breathe.

There is a lifestyle that I seek to build with her.  I want her to be the most important thing in our world.  I want my existence to facilitate her happiness, her joy, her pleasure, her satisfaction, and her ultimate fulfillment.  This is the D/s that I seek and I want these ideas to govern our lives.

I empower her over me.  Completely.  I accept any methods she may employ to keep our philosophy a reality.  I want to be perfect for her.  I will fail but I graciously accept her efforts to drive me to perfection.  Making me perfect for her is a tremendous favor to me.  It will make sure that I can earn her love is kindness.

My submission seeks a loving sadist.  While I do not crave pain, a sadist will unlock my submissive potential.  She will take pleasure in ensuring that I may earn her love.  She will drive me hard, push me deep, and appreciate what I offer to her.  I want to give her my everything so that she needs only me to be happy.

I seek to live in my submissive mental space.  This is where I am at my best.  This is where I am the happiest.  It is my peaceful place.  It is where I have the most love to give.  I like to believe that the one I love will grant me this place.  It is here where I know that I am hers.  I want her to possess me entirely.

I enter this space through cruelty and suffering.  There is no place I would rather be.  I like to believe that the one for me will want to keep me there, both to ensure her happiness and to grant me mine.  It won’t be a chore for her, it will feel like her true calling.

This is the life that I seek… where I cannot think in terms that are not focused around her.  I will exist for her.

I don’t want to jump the gun like I did a couple of weeks ago, but through writing this I feel like a lot of the clouds have lifted from my brain.  Fingers crossed.

21 thoughts on “444. Thoughts on D/s and Life

  1. This is beautiful, furcissy….absolutely incredible! I really admire that you know exactly what you want from D/s and that you can succinctly express it in this way. Your future partner is one lucky lady! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Nora.

      It is a bit of a double-edged sword. The more specific my needs are, the more difficult it is to find someone that shares a similar point of view. Although when I do find them, it has a chance to be intimately special.

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your desires wants and cravings circle around what many of us Dommes are looking for in the long run. If you think about it we are all pretending we enjoy temporary satisfaction from current relationships that dont have the “Ever after” factor. That you can open and honesty say what you want and mean it is so refreshing… Thank you this teaches me personally more and more about you…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I really admire how you are so in touch with yourself Fcsy. You really are a truly amazing person and I agree that future lady is one lucky lucky lady! Xx CC

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You speak in such glowing “think of her first” terms. I sincerely hope you get what you are looking for. You’d make the right dominant woman happy and successful with your support.

    Key

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Key.
      I have had it before… which gives me faith that I will have it again. There is a woman that I am waiting for, but neither of us are currently in a position for it to work just yet.

      Like

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