464. There’s a First Time for Everything (2018)

I try to be even-keeled in my presence on the blogosphere.  While I will rant now and then and express frustration, I generally don’t get into beef in blog comments. Over the years I’ve been insulted or criticized countless times.  I have always found some way to either try to tactfully defuse the situation or just leave it be.   The only exceptions to this were when a blog author I am fond of was getting attacked.

After 8+ years of blogging I finally lost my cool after being insulted by someone that I have regularly seen making disparaging, negative, judgmental, and toxic comments on other blogs that I follow.  I did ask the blog author to delete my comment within two minutes of posting it, but I’m not quite sure how I should feel about this.  I’m definitely not proud of it, but I don’t really feel bad about doing it either.

As I have calmed down, I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it set me off and I think I understand why.  Their insults were done in a passive-aggressive way, insulting me by talking to the blog author by putting down my input and telling them to ignore me.  To me, that is the most disrespectful way to disagree with someone.  I would have been fine being confronted directly and hashing out the points that they disagreed with.  Alas, no, it was treating me like I was completely inconsequential and not even being willing to say it to my face or discuss anything.  In too many ways it seems exactly like the abusive toxic bullshit of my family and my upbringing.

To be honest, if it had been done by a random stranger or someone anonymous, I probably wouldn’t have cared. Given that I know they have a track record of this kind of insulting and disrespectful behavior, I should have been able to just tune it out as their standard operating procedure.  That is on me.

There’s a first time for everything.

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4 thoughts on “464. There’s a First Time for Everything (2018)

    1. Hi Jane. I do wish there were less people like that on the internet. 10+ years ago I didn’t mind riding into battle. In more recent years I have been good with not getting dragged into the muck.

      On some level it did feel better to finally tell this person off after a couple of years of irritation, but I probably should have exercised restraint. I think it was accumulated frustration and now that I was able to vent it I can simply return to rolling my eyes when I read their words.

      I stopped interacting on fetlife groups to avoid this as well. A handful of groups do pretty well with moderating but in so many cases the default methods of communication are snark or condescension.

      Liked by 1 person

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