505. Discussion Topic Write-Up: Enforced Male Chastity

I am writing this from the standpoint of introducing these ideas and concepts as part of a Femdom discussion group and may include ideas and concepts that I have discussed in earlier posts. As this group involves only male submissives I am limiting this post to the topic of male chastity, which is a slightly different animal from female chastity.

I. What is male chastity?

Enforced male chastity is an activity in BDSM where a man’s penis is kept secured within a device designed to prevent him from achieving an erection and experiencing an orgasm for either a fixed or indeterminate amount of time.  There are dozens of device styles that may be constructed from metal, plastic, silicone, rubber, or leather.  Devices may be designed for long-term wear or short-term usage.  They may be locking and in some cases they may have the option to be made permanent.  Some devices are meant to simply prevent and erection and orgasm while others may be designed to inflict pain with erection attempts.  A handful of options are designed for work with electricity play and to deliver additional pain or sensations to the wearer.  Penis piercings are often used in conjunction with chastity devices and these are frequently thought of as being the most secure designs available.

Along with the multitude of devices, you will also find a multitude of ways in which people use male chastity.  For some it is a game.  For others it is a lifestyle.  You will find no consensus among its practitioners and you will find people who engage in chastity ranging from hours at a time to going years between release.

II.  Who partakes in male chastity?

Many people that take part in male chastity are involved in an F/m or M/m D/s dynamic.  There are also those who partake in male chastity without engaging in D/s.  For this latter group, I tend to refer to them as “chastity enthusiasts.”

III.  Why do people engage in male chastity?

     A.  Some women want it, others do not.

The allure of chastity for a woman is a rather polarizing topic.  Male chastity is seen as a primarily male kink, and as a whole, there are more men interested in being kept in a chastity device than there are women who are interested in keeping men locked in a chastity device.  While it is easy to cite this differential as the difference in numbers between submissive men and dominant women, among Dommes, the views on chastity are heavily divided with the pro-chastity crowd falling in the minority.

Certain dominant types are often predisposed to the idea of enforced male chastity.  Sadistic Dommes may enjoy taking away the sub’s sexual freedom and causing an ever-increasing sense of sexual frustration and anguish.  Authoritarian Dommes may enjoy the power and control that chastity yields to them.  Sensualist Dommes may enjoy being able to tease a sub and bring him to wildly frustrated state of prolonged blocked erection attempts.  While their reasons may differ slightly from the reasons I have listed here, these examples are not outside the realm of realistic estimation.  It is important to note that when a Domme likes the idea of chastity, in most cases she absolutely loves the idea of chastity.

The majority of Dommes tend to be anti-male chastity.  When they share their thoughts on the subject, it is often cited that they see chastity as being completely unnecessary and unromantic.  If she tells a sub he is not allowed to touch himself or to have an orgasm, she expects him to perform this of his own accord.  If he needs a chastity device to prevent him from doing this, he is not the right sub.  On some occasions, these views are exacerbated by the number of subs that are willing to continuously project their chastity kink onto them.  When faced with this, it is common for Dommes to dig in their heels and develop a hardline stance against chastity, as entertaining at this point would make them feel like they are catering directly to a sub’s fetishes.  When Dommes have adopted this mindset, being able to convince them that there will be any benefit from male chastity will be difficult, and in some cases, impossible.

There are Dommes, especially newer Dommes, that are on the fence or undecided on this topic.  For most of them, the examples they are exposed to will eventually tip the scales as to whether or not they wish to pursue chastity.  If the examples seem cruel, heartless, and over-the-top, they are more likely to recoil away from chastity.  If the examples seem practical and constructive, they are more likely to wish to learn more.

From my experiences, the greatest “salesmanship” for chastity towards a Domme is if the sub is able to convey exactly what it does for them from an emotional and submissive standpoint.  The better they can articulate how it affects them or their submission in a positive way, the more attractive chastity will seem to a Domme.  Even if she can’t see why she is doing it to benefit herself, she may be very willing to give it a go if she understands what it does for the sub.

You will find that most chastity resources out there are written with the idea of introducing a vanilla woman to the idea of enforced male chastity.  The standard description is that once a man’s genitals are placed under her control, his only means of sexual gratification is by pleasing her and “earning” release. As he acclimates to his predicament, this will condition the man to focus his sexual energies upon the woman, increasing his attentiveness and obedience, and in turn, making her happier with him. This answer is frequently used when trying to sell the idea of chastity to a partner that may not be interested in it. If she locks him up, he will make her happier.

While these resources may influence an undecided Domme to a certain extent, I find that they respond much more strongly to the shared experiences of other Dommes that they relate to.  How the Dommes they look up to as resources view chastity often has a greater impact upon them.

     B.  What’s in it for the man?

I want to rip through all of the flowery talk and salesmanship of chastity and get right to the meat of it.  The primary reason that men wish to engage in enforced male chastity is that it makes them feel truly submissive.

Basically, chastity triggers their submissive mental space.

While this might not seem like a huge deeal to those who regularly reach space, enforced chastity offers a number of characteristics that other activities do not.  These may include:

  • The chance to experience prolonged submissive mental space.  As most subs first access this space via fantasy and find themselves losing it as soon as they climax from that fantasy, chastity, by its very nature, allows them to extend out this space while they remain locked.
  • The chance to truly feel helpless and powerless.  When the key is in a Domme’s possession (or frozen in an ice cube or a time-lock safe, etc.), this is often one of the few times that a sub will find themselves in a situation that is truly out of their control.
  • The chance to truly feel the loss of privilege, pleasure, and freedom.  The early stages of chastity make a sub keenly aware that they have taken their erections and ability to touch themselves for granted.  When those are taken away, the sense of loss is magnified.

On some level, I believe this gives reasons for why male chastity is such an obsession among men.  Few men will ever experience submission to a Domme.  Chastity provides access to the feelings that they can only fantasize about.

For the subs that do have the privilege of submitting to a Domme, these factors work to deepen the feelings of submission, dominance, and control.  These feelings are even more intense when the sub does not want to be kept in chastity.  Emotional masochists might find these types of arrangements to be particularly appealing.

A simplified summary of all of this is that a chastity device makes submission feel real.  It provides tangible evidence of the loss of control.  While a sub may drift in and out of their submissive mental space, each blocked erection attempt will restore them to that space for the duration that the device is worn.

There are other reasons that men may wish to engage in enforced chastity.  Focusing their sexual energies, increased libido, and feeling more connected to their significant other are a few that come to mind.  Another reason that comes to mind is that chastity can lead to less frequent but more intense and fulfilling orgasms for the man.

I am sure there are other reasons that could be listed, but as this post is intended for a Femdom D/s audience, I put the primary focus upon the D/s applications of chastity.

IV.  How does male chastity work?

     A. Physically

There are four primary designs of chastity devices, some of which share some overlapping characteristics.

  1. A full metal belt.  These are expensive and designed for security and long-term wear.  They are custom fitted and crafted from steel, including a front plate that houses a tube that encases the penis while flaccid, holding it in a fixed downward position and preventing any external contact.
  2. A trapped-ball device.  This is the most common type of chastity device out there due to its size and price.  While they are not as secure as some other designs, the majority of mass-marketed devices are of this style.  These devices function by encasing the penis in a cage portion and trapping the scrotum between a pair of rings.  When the penis attempts an erection, it attempts to rise along with the scrotum, but the combination of the cage blocking the penis’s expansion, the angle of the penis being kept pinned down, and the scrotum being unable to move along with the penis’s rise, prevent an erection from occurring.
  3. A piercing-based device.  These types of devices use a cage-based design, sometimes resembling a trapped ball device.  A metal bar is fed through the penis piercing, holding it securely within the cage in a manner where the penis cannot be removed.  The cage itself blocks the expansion of the penis and prevents an erection.
  4. A Kali’s Tooth Bracelet (KTB) or similar design.  These devices consist of a spiked ring that is locked snugly around the flaccid penis.  If the penis attempts an erection, it expands into the spikes and the inflicted pain will cause it to recoil to a flaccid state.  These devices are meant more to condition a sub to develop greater control over their erections and stop attempting erections at times deemed inappropriate by the Domme.

Something of note is that most devices are unable to prevent an erection by 100%.  During an erection attempt, the penis will expand and fill the device as much as possible and any part of the penis that is not restricted by the device will reach an erect or partially erect state.  This includes the blood vessels that fill below the surface of the skin where the penis meets the pelvic region.  In this partially erect state, the penis itself may become extremely sensitive and the sub may feel an overwhelming sense of sexual frustration where he is keenly aware of his penis and its inability to reach a fully erect state.  The cage itself may provide a minor amount of stimulation that often results in the leaking of pre-cum.

Some believe that regular expulsion of the prostate is necessary for prostate health.  In these cases, prostate milking may be used with chastity in order to maintain prostate health, without allowing the sub an orgasm.

     B. Psychologically

The psychological ramifications of chastity are large and many of the theories out there are based upon our (limited) understanding of neurohormones.  I have seen articles talking about the way it affects male motivation through regulation of dopamine and prolactin.  There are theories about how the anticipation and experience can affect levels of corticotropin and thyrotropin.

What we do know is that a sub kept in chastity will frequently have:

  • An intense focus upon the Domme (aka key-holder).
  • An increased libido as they become more aware of the intensity and frequency of their denied erection attempts.
  • A decrease in their own personal sexual desires as they shift focus upon the Domme’s desires (as this is required to earn release).  In essence, the Domme’s desires become the sub’s sexual desires.
  • An acceptance that their own pleasure is outside of their own direct control.

From my own (albeit limited) experiences with prolonged chastity, I have found that subs in chastity progress through a psychological process similar to the Five Stages of Grief:

  1. Denial.  There is the hope that it won’t be so bad, that they can handle the chastity period, etc.
  2. Anger (better stated as frustration).  There will be times where the sub will desperately wish to be free of the device.
  3. Bargaining.  The sub may want to find ways to end or reduce the chastity period.
  4. Depression.  The sub may regret his chaste state, possibly wishing that he had never agreed to it.
  5. Acceptance.  The sub surrenders his will and accepts the Domme’s authority over his sexual freedom and pleasure.  Instead of searching for another way out, he focuses upon making the Domme as happy and pleased with him as possible (as this is his only way out).

While individual results may vary, the underlying outcome for the sub is the conditioning that obedience, focus, and devotion are what lead to freedom and pleasure.

     C.  In a D/s dynamic

As I have noted that there are some dominants that have no interest in practicing chastity, this section will cover those who do involve chastity in their D/s dynamic.

A number of Dommes that I know that enjoy chastity make it almost mandatory.  If you wish to submit to her in a D/s relationship, you should be prepared to be kept in a chastity device (with certain stipulations permitted due to work, travel, etc.).  While this may involve a gradual work up, she will want to lock it up and hold the key.

Within these dynamics, chastity often becomes a continuous carrot and stick scenario as it requires very little effort on the Domme’s part, but greatly affects the sub’s behavior, attitude, and morale.  “That service wasn’t enthusiastic enough, let’s add a day to your release.”  “You did that without asking permission first, let’s add a week as a reminder.”  “I think someone doesn’t want to be let out tomorrow.”

While not everyone uses chastity in this way, is is quite functional and practical as a punishment, potential threat, or even a reward.

Others may use chastity simply as a regular form of control.  They may have release dates marked on a calendar and simply obey the regular intervals they have decided upon.

There are some Dommes that use chastity as more of a temporary tool.  They may lock a sub up for a few hours of intense seduction and teasing, relishing his sexual frustration and escalating desperation before granting him an eventual release.

There are also those who engage in very long-term chastity.  I would classify these as greater than six-month intervals between release.  In these dynamics, I believe that chastity is used to condition the sub from thinking about their own sexual pleasure at all.  This frees the sub to think only of the Domme’s pleasure.  In extreme cases, where the sub is never granted release, there is often the accompanying philosophy that the greatest pleasure the sub should aspire for is the Domme’s pleasure.

Overall, Dommes tend to use chastity in their own unique way.

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25 thoughts on “505. Discussion Topic Write-Up: Enforced Male Chastity

  1. Great explanation. This helps me understand a bit more of why many men enjoy chastity. As you know, this topic is one that I find highly disconcerting, but I feel more empathetic and understanding as to the reason behind wanting to engage in this. Maybe I’ll keep HD in chastity when it’s his week to submit next. Hmmmm….

    I can understand both viewpoints by Dommes. Submission should be given and maintained because the sub wants it, not because some device is forcing it. Buuuuuut, it isn’t practical to demand a submissive mindset all the time (life gets in the way), so having a device as a reminder would help ensure this.
    The issue of the sub pushing his kink onto his Domme is a grey area for me. Everyone involved need to feel fulfilled, including kinks and fetishes and desires and wants and needs. (Within reason, of course.) At the same time, no one deserves to be made into a fetish dispenser. I feel that having a relationship or dynamic would automatically reduce the likelihood of the Domme being reduced to a fetish dispenser, and thus engaging in the sub’s kinks would be reasonable (occasionally, obviously).

    The problem I have with this is that some feel their pleasure should be completely fulfilling for their sub. People are too complex for anything that simplistic, and it just isn’t feasible except in very rare, very extreme scenarios. This is what turns me off about chastity, more than anything else. Used in this way, it doesn’t seem healthy. I just can’t fathom it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, HH.
      I’m glad this could help clarify some things.

      A couple of notes that I would make is that the people who are often the most anti-chastity are also people that often do not have a lot of care for whether a sub reaches their submissive mental space or not. This can create a conundrum.

      What I would like to say about your last paragraph is that there are instances in which this philosophy can still be fulfilling for the sub. As I am not a masochist, what I find rewarding about submission is the mental space. Leading a dynamic that caters to the idea of the sub’s pleasure being making the Domme happy is actually a pretty heavy space trigger for me. On some level I believe that your emotional masochism would respond to that as well, even if your rational mind would fight against it.

      Not all situations like this are fulfilling for the sub, but they do exist where they can be.

      Also, certain things seem very unreasonable viewed through the M/f lens. There are a lot of unfair scenarios in F/m that exist simply because they can, which does not mean that they should. A lot of these situations could not exist if the sub male and dominant female populations were anywhere near equal, but they can exist with things as skewed as badly as they are.

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. For me, just viewing it as people involved in a relationship, it doesn’t seem sustainable over a period of time. Without outside influences (family, work, etc.) then such an extreme would be easier but still not feasible. This is just my opinion, I fully acknowledge I have very little experience in this area and am speaking from a completely outside perspective.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you, HH.
          It actually is quite sustainable. There are male subs that are able to get by on very little being catered to them. The current philosophies preached by the FLR community go so far as to remove any type of positive kink reinforcement from the relationship. That in itself reaches some subs and their desire to be denied/stifled. For the couples that engage in this, the principles of their dynamic provide a lot of the fuel.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. I should also note, HH, that arrangements that appear particularly unfair often appeal to emotional masochists. While it may seem “all bad” on the outside looking in, they are experiencing something “good” through it.

          Liked by 1 person

        3. I shouldn’t have such a hard time understanding this, since I am an emotional masochist who “enjoys” similar experiences. Maybe my difficulty is centered more around my own inability to let go completely like this. Intellectually I understand what you are saying, but emotionally…I can’t fathom it. It makes my chest feel tight. But, as long as the participants are content, that’s what matters. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        4. Thank you, HH. Two things come to mind on this that may be blocking it in some way. #1 is that you consider your orgasms to be a necessary part of your life, so the thought of giving them up is beyond your comfort zone. #2 is that when situations occur in the M/f realm that exist where the sub’s feelings/desires aren’t important to the dominant, those situations are almost exclusively abusive.

          When looking at it from the F/m lens it changes things quite a bit. Male subs have far fewer options to ever experience dominance so they are more likely to agree to a situations where their own preferences are ignored (in the FLR movement this is almost the foundation principle of it). In loving D/s relationships, the philosophy at the forefront of the dynamic may not actually be what they are doing. In these cases, they may live as if the sub’s preferences aren’t important, but beneath the surface, they do matter to the dominant, even if they never admit this openly. This illusion is often part of what male subs are willing to agree to.

          One other aspect is that you still fight to retain your “self.” I believe the subs who can exist within this form of dynamic would gladly and easily give their “self” up.

          Liked by 1 person

        5. That’s likely the main reason I struggle so hard to understand this. Since sexual release is a need for me, any sort of long-term chastity is impossible for me to accept. Even when it is the preference of the people involved. I try, I just can’t.

          I can understand the illusion. That is easier for me to grasp, but I react to that sort of situation positively (in temporary experiences). Love means caring about the other person’s wants and needs, so creating the illusion of not caring but actually ensuring the sub is content makes quite a lot more sense to me.

          I have worked so hard to maintain a sense of Self for most of my life when others worked to strip it from me. I don’t think I could ever give that up. I agree, that is likely another reason I feel blocked on this topic.

          Liked by 1 person

        6. Thank you, HH.
          I had guessed those were parts of the problem based upon what I know of you.

          The way that the male orgasm interacts with submissive mental space is an important factor, since every O will cause a crash out of space for 4-72 hours. Milking is also an act that is only possible with men. Those two aspects skew the playing field a bit and make it a slightly different game. It becomes even more involved if you consider women that can climax from clit stimulation but not from penetration (I realize I should have put this in the post itself).

          The illusion is prevalent in nearly any F/m situation that seems needlessly cruel. It might seem like the man’s needs are being denied, but the denial is often part of his greater needs.

          Take care.

          Liked by 1 person

        7. This is thoughts provoking discussion. Thank you HeartsHope an Fur. I understand both of you, guys opinion – there is some rationale behind both. It seams that not only Fur’s local BDSM group will benefit from this type of discussion but also we, humble readers of this blog may learn something. A big ‘well done’ to you both (and to others who actively participate in this discussion.

          Liked by 2 people

        8. Thank you, Peter. It is a topic that can get quite thick. I don’t think either view is right or wrong, I just think we can benefit from being able to understand how some things can work for the people who partake in them. If it works for people and makes them happy, that tends to be the “right” way no matter how people choose to go about it.

          Like

  2. “The primary reason that men wish to engage in enforced male chastity is that it makes them feel truly submissive.”

    This phrase is key! It is almost as if you were in my pet’s head. He brought up the topic about 2 months ago and asked if we could discuss it.
    I told him I wasn’t entirely convinced and that I needed a better reason why he wanted to try it. That phrase is exactly what he said.
    I routinely use edging and denial, which he is very good at on his own, so I haven’t really seen a need to lock him up.
    I could definitely use it as a temporary tool, as I wouldn’t be willing to enforce it long-term.
    Very thoughtful post!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much for sharing.

      It makes me very happy to know that what I wrote was able to describe things that related to people.

      It does seem that when it isn’t a strong interest to a dominant it ends up mostly being for the sub.

      Have you ever had him locked up and teased him (nipples often work in these cases) to watch him struggle, writhe, and whimper while he is unable to get a full erection? You might find that fun at times, especially when he’s pressed up against the cage bars and making it bob up and down.

      Take care.

      Like

  3. While your post sounds unbiased, I can’t be. I am a fan of chastity. It is such an effective tool and there are so many ways a Dom/me can use it to their benefit and further their dominance, whether it be long term or temporary use. Not to mention, what little effort it takes on the Dom/me’s part to have a great impact. At the very least, it is worth a try.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ms Dixie. It’s good to hear your thoughts on the subject. I agree with your sentiments. I am glad that the post appeared to be unbiased. I was hoping to represent a number of views that I know are out there without really choosing a side.

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I would have two questions: first, I heard that 24/7 chastity in a cage or similar device can be a health hazard, as the penis can never expand (not even during the night when this happens automatically). I heard that this might inflict heart problems possibly. You know anything about this? And if so, how do you see that danger?
    Second, concerning an existing partnership between a dominant woman and a sub male: while enforced long time chastity surely triggers a submissive feeling (which might be desired by the male), is there not the risk that the dominant woman would at a certain point look somewhere else for a fulfilling sexual relationship? Thus such enforced chastity would be a likely way of seriously undermining the partnership. How do you see this risk? And if there is such a risk, is this worth taking in your view?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello. I will do my best to answer each question to the best that I can.

      This is the first I have heard of the heart question, so I am guessing that is a newer concern. I have known quite a few people who have spent time in prolonged chastity and I have never heard of a single recorded case of anyone developing heart issues or being ordered by a doctor to stop using chastity due to heart issues. About the biggest issue I have seen with the penis not being allowed to expand is that after being released from chastity, I know in some cases it can take 24-72 hours for the penis to be able to reach a full erection. When this happens to someone for the first time it can freak them out.

      If this were a stronger concern, I would have likely heard of cases where chastity was discontinued because of it.

      I think in any relationship there is a concern that one person might feel unfulfilled in some way and look elsewhere. As for sexual fulfillment, I have found that women that enjoy PIV intercourse are the least likely to want to subject their sub to chastity (with the exception of those who engage in cuckolding). The woman is always free to release the sub from chastity for sex if she so desires. There are also techniques used to have sex while making it virtually impossible for the sub to enjoy it or cum (e.g. fake penises that slide over the chastity device, using desensitizing lotion and 2 condoms, etc.).

      In the cases where I know that dominant women enjoy frequent PIV intercourse and enjoy the act of letting their sub cum during it, they generally will not even consider locking a sub in chastity.

      Another factor to consider is that a significant percentage of women do not orgasm from PIV intercourse and can only climax from clitoral stimulation. For these women, keeping a sub chaste will not diminish the woman’s sexual pleasure.

      I think it would be a bigger problem if the woman told the sub that she wanted to have sex with him and he refused, citing that he would rather remain in chastity. In this case, she would probably see it as him choosing his kink over her and that would likely lead to relationship problems.

      I think that the risk you mention is a bigger factor if people do not maintain communication. Whether it is worth trying chastity, that will vary greatly from couple to couple. Do keep in mind that when people get started in chastity, it is usually for very small increments at a time, e.g. a couple of hours here and there, working up to a full day or two, etc. If it isn’t going to work, that tends to surface rather early in the experiment.

      I hope that answers your questions at least somewhat.

      Take care.

      Like

  5. Dear fursissy,

    thank you so much for your reply. But I think I was not precise enough. I spoke of potential heart problems, but more exactly what is discussed sometimes are blood circulation problems.
    see for instance: https://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/columns/savage-love/article/13043788/can-locking-my-penis-in-a-chastity-device-cause-longterm-damage

    As to my second question, you are correct, it depends on the situation. My issue is just that a woman might want to have sex with another man, not the one she holds in chastity as she lost respect somehow. See for instance the original story of Venus in fur. But this is a risk one has to accept I guess.

    Happy new year otherwise!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a lot more clear. Circulation problems are a potential issue with a device that is poorly fitted. The amount of force generated by an erection varies from person to person, but it can be pretty significant, and the more the penis is allowed to expand before reaching the limits of the device, the greater the force will be. With enough force, it is very possible to restrict circulation in a bad way when the device does not fit properly. This is one of the reasons that finding a device that is a good fit is so crucial.

      From the medical expert’s input on that article, I do believe that the atrophy of penis muscles is also possible.

      The chance of a woman losing respect for the man and wanting to have sex with someone else is a potential problem in all relationships. I don’t necessarily think that it happens more frequently in Femdom relationships or relationships involving chastity. If anything, I find that most power exchange relationships tend to increase in intimacy and communication between partners.

      Take care.

      Like

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