527. Thoughts on Mind-Fucking (2019)

In a couple of weeks the Femdom discussion munch I take part in will is going after another one of the topics that I suggested about 7 months ago.  The topic for this discussion is Emotional Sadism and Masochism.  I was given the task of doing the topic write-up and I did it by talking about certain types of activities and dynamics that people tend to be into without realizing that they are forms of emotional sadism and masochism.

One of the examples I used was mind-fucking.  As I’m probably going to have to lead the discussion, I figured I should be able to adequately explain what mind-fucking is.  I also know that I have never really given a decent definition of what mind-fucking is. I’ve talked about it.  I’ve given examples of it.  I’ve never really defined it.  I will make an attempt at it.  I am fully open to revising it and changing it as needed.  Feel free to tell me why my definition is wrong or incomplete, especially if you have a better one.

Definition:

Mind-Fucking is the process of causing a sub to experience significant emotional turmoil with the intent of eliciting a submissive response. 

In post 504, I also included these stipulations for mind-fucking to be effective:

  1.  The sub is immersed in their submissive mental space
  2. The sub is in a state where they have recognized the dominant as their authority figure.

In my opinion, what separates mind-fucking from regular humiliation or degradation is that mind-fucking is heavily about the process while the others are more about the outcome.  To make that more clear, mind-fucking usually involves trapping a sub in a state of self-awareness and pushing them to the point of surrender.  This process can be prolonged and drawn-out while continuously building up the sub’s fears, anticipation, insecurities, etc.  When someone enjoys mind-fucking, they generally enjoy watching the sub become increasingly more agitated, more desperate, more afraid, and so on as the process continues.

At a certain point, either through too much agitation or by advancing events to the climax point, the sub will either:

  1. Fold and surrender with their will broken.
  2. Completely break down.

When things reach this point, the sub has been successfully mind-fucked.

Mind-Fucking frequently involves some form of humiliation or degradation but it is a specialized form that has a few aspects that set it apart.  Mind-Fucking can be purely virtual, with no actual humiliation or degradation occurring.  e.g. the process may build up to a climax point/looming threat that will never happen, but the process of getting there is enough to mind-fuck the sub.  If events are carried through the climax point, then the sub is both mind-fucked and humiliated/degraded.  However, if a sub is humiliated/degraded by the same method but without the process of building emotional turmoil, it would no longer be a mind-fuck.

That probably reads like a convoluted SAT question, but I can’t think of a better way of putting it.

Something else that is probably worth briefly expanding upon is the self-awareness part that I mentioned above.  If a sub is able to enter a mental space (e.g. slave space) where their “self” is erased or where dominant’s wishes greatly outweigh the sub’s desires/feelings/wants, they will not offer up the mental resistance that is necessary to mind-fuck them.  Mind-Fucking is dependent upon the sub’s fears, worries, insecurities, etc. being brought to the surface, so there must be enough “self” present for the emotional turmoil to occur.

I can’t really think of anything else to say without just going into examples, so it’s probably a good time to stop.  I know that I wrote this mostly to clarify my own thoughts on the subject, but I hope that others will find it useful, too.

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12 thoughts on “527. Thoughts on Mind-Fucking (2019)

  1. Wow!!! For over a year now, I’ve been trying to put a label to explain a scene that I played in with my former Master. Mind Fucked… I was thoroughly mind fucked. In the end, it was one of the major reason our dynamic didn’t last. Thanks for helping me find clarity. ♥

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hello, fur. I haven’t been checking your blog lately, so first let me say that’s it good to see you writing again. Also, I did see your comment over on my blog, and I thank you for your kind thoughts and caring words.

    As to this particular entry of yours, I think your definition is good – as far as it goes. There is so much more to the subject of mind fucking, and you’d be hard pressed to encompass the entire subject in a short definition. As you know, I’m rather adept at this sort of thing, and I doubt that there’s too many other Doms who have put their sub through more mind fucks than those with which I’ve burdened my husband Karl.

    I can’t say that I do these things “with the intent of eliciting a submissive response”. In our case, the submissiveness is a given, and requires no particular eliciting. I am a sadist, and I mind fuck just for the fun of it. It doesn’t really need to bring forth agitation, desperation or fear. I’m a particular fan of putting him in lose/lose situations, and the moment when he realizes what’s happening is, as the saying goes, priceless. The emotional turmoil he experiences because of what I’ve set up for him is an end in itself, rather than a tool to bring on any particular submissive response. A subtle, but important difference, and perhaps more fuel for your discussion.

    In re one of your previous posts concerning the D/s situation, and the unfortunate prospect of such relationships being “old school”, I feel there’s a connection here with this mind fuck post, in that – from my experience – the old school Doms regard mind fucking as a common and somewhat basic aspect of the D/s scene. Perhaps the so-called younger Doms who are uncomfortable with the concept of relationships as opposed to “scenes” just don’t get close enough to their subs to pull off an unpurposeful mind fuck with no expectations besides their personal (and sadistic) joy in the process. Seems a shame, no?

    Take care, my friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Thank you, Lady Grey. It’s very good to hear from you.

    I agree with you that there are many nuances of mind-fucking that cannot be described in a line or two. I just wanted to have something better than the normal, “mind-fucking is sort of like when you do…” descriptions that are commonly used in place of a definition.

    The reason that I used the phrase “with the intent of eliciting a submissive response,” is that people who are not well-versed in the subject tend to not understand the “purpose” of it as an activity and/or are prone to taking it out of context. A lot of the people I have encountered that have zero interest in emotional sadism/masochism cannot picture mind-fucking “going well” and generally envision situations that would cause a sub to rebel on a level strong enough to where they no longer wish to submit to the person. Another way of putting it might be, “in a manner that falls safely within the established dynamic.”

    I agree with your assessment connecting this post to the earlier post. The majority of the community that attends the munches and discussions view BDSM through the casual-type lens and tend to consider any type of power-dynamic interplay as needing to be part of a “defined scene.” This definition (for the purposes of the discussion munch) took that heavily into consideration as they are the majority of people I end up mingling with. There end up being quite a few layers of perspectives, with those who instinctively like to mind-fuck people vs. those who have the desire but do not give themselves moral/ethical permission to do so vs. those who have no desire to do so.

    Did you get a chance to check out the real life adaptations of the gear from fs01?

    Take care, it’s always great to hear from you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just finished perusing your leather gear creations, and they are delightful! They perfectly reflect your fantasy writings to a remarkable degree. What fun you must have had creating them! No doubt it was tedious, but isn’t that part of the fun as well:)? I especially like the many locking points and the double riveting. Makes all that pink a bit more dangerous. Bravo, and keep up the good work!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Lady Grey. It makes me happy to hear that. It did take quite a while to make it, as this was my first attempt with leather-working. I made a nylon webbing prototype originally and then another simpler leather version using locking posts as I built up the proficiency to make the final one. It is kind of scary watching my nightmares come to life.

      Take care.

      Like

  5. Scary? Perhaps, but I daresay there must have been a bit of an arousal tingle as well. I’ve no doubt that Cass would love to sell your wares in her store. And I know just the person who’d model them. Now there’s a scene I’d love to see!

    Liked by 2 people

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