I was able to deduce this morning that the struggles I have been having that I wrote about in 546 and 547 are actually being magnified by sub-frenzy. While I’m sure that depression is playing some part, the real issue at hand is is that I have been so stressed out that I have not been able to feel as vulnerable as I need to for quite a while. Basically, a lot of the agitation is a withdrawl symptom of not being able to reach the place (sub mental space) that I want to go for an extended period of time.
There’s always something else weighing me down. Errands to run. Prescriptions to get refilled. Appointments to keep up with. Work piling up due to missing time from said appointments. Worrying about the new Femdom group. Things to be prepared for that. All of these constant battles has made it impossible for me to relax. When I’m unable to relax, I can’t reach my target space. Without having that target space… I wilt.
I didn’t plan on writing this post but I did want to put a reminder out there that sub-frenzy can manifest itself in various ways. It isn’t just a feeling that newbies get when chasing experiences. It’s also a thing that veteran subs get when they aren’t able to get what they need. Eventually it starts to cloud you and overwhelm. What makes it feel worse is that I know the blockage is on my end.