549. Update 11/16/19

I seem to be out of my writing funk but life has been extremely busy lately and I have been unable to compose a few posts that are swirling around in my head.

On the forefront, I have been busy with requests for leather bondage gear.  I have continued posting all of what I have been completing on my other blog.  It makes me happy that people like what I make, although I think I prefer this more as a hobby than as a business.  I don’t make very much on each item, but from what I am seeing, there is a legitimate demand for male-sized bondage gear, especially gear that is available in colors and not just black.

Something I’m struggling with a bit lately is that many of my current experiences and interactions are continuing to “shift my inner-narrative.”  Simply put, I’m having more positive interactions than bad ones and I can feel it slowly changing the way that I think about myself.  My social confidence is back to a level I haven’t had in 25 years.

I’m also starting to figure out what it is about meeting new people that makes me need it so badly.  I like talking about D/s.  I like being able to share my views and philosophies about it.  I like hearing other people’s views and philosophies about it.  It really is a joy of mine.  What I find is that this happens so easily when I meet someone new.  There’s a whole “getting to know you” phase, where everything you say is new to them and everything they say to you is new to you.  This keeps pretty much every topic on the table, and when you meet in this realm, it means for a lot of conversation about kink.  At some point the people become closer (or fade out) and the topics of conversation shift and gravitate away from what was talked about early on.  This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a natural part of how relationships evolve, but there is a downside for me as I lose my outlet for talking about those things.  I’m finding that if I’m not meeting someone new that is open for talking every couple of months that I start feeling stifled.

Lately following a conversation I have been writing a bit of guidance on how to humiliate a male sub.  I believe they may have been looking for specific acts, but in my typical over-think fashion, I ended up writing mostly about the psychology of it and how to tailor that to a sub, as well as the process of ramping up the intensity.  I may end up compiling that into a post here.  It’s sort of funny, though, if I were to post it as is, a lot of people would probably think I’m a monster 😛

It’s one week until our new Femdom group’s next party.  It will be bigger than the last one and I’m kind of excited and less nervous than I was last week.

Overall, things are feeling more stable and I hope to get back to my normal writing sometime soon.

7 thoughts on “549. Update 11/16/19

  1. Theres still 7 days left of Tell Me About for you to write something, and it would be great to read your thoughts on training….

    I have always found you to be an amazing source of information, inspiration, guidance and knowledge…

    I enjoyed this post too 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know how much joy it brings me to hear you talk about the shifts in your “inner narrative.” I am really proud of you for allowing that to happen rather than doubling down on the narrative that you have grown accustomed to. It has been such a pleasure to watch you gain strength and confidence over the course of the time I have known you.

    Also: the leather bondage gear you make ROCKS. It’s beautiful and functional, and I’m not the slightest bit surprised how many of our friends want to commission sets of their own.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s so good to hear you say your social confidence is at a 25 year high! It’s only my opinion, of course, but in getting to know you I’ve found a person who is intelligent, self-aware, thoughtful, interesting, and kind. I don’t see anything not to like. Also, the set of bondage gear I commissioned is beautiful and sturdy, and I’m so pleased with the workmanship. As you continue on your path, I look forward to continuing having interesting conversations. Cheers to new friends!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind words. Re-writing my brain to have new expectations is an adjustment and a work in progress. It feels good to have things flow more naturally though.

      I have enjoyed talking with you and getting to know you.

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

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