554. Analyzing the Multiple-Domme Fantasy

Note: A lot of this will be rehashed topics from the past year but it is on my mind.

A Domme friend of mine recently asked me why her sub has this recurring fantasy about being exposed to, humiliated in front of, and used by a group of (presumably dominant) women.  I find this topic to be rather intriguing because I also fantasize about this.  I also know that her sub shares a fairly similar submissive psychological profile to my own, so a lot of my theories/beliefs about this would likely be true for him as well.

The multiple-Domme fantasy is a powerful one because it affects a sub upon several levels simultaneously.

The first of note is that it validates the sub’s fears and inner-narrative. Subs of this style tend to have a lot of fears that coincide with a negatively-skewed (but arousing) view of self in relation to women.  These fantasies tend to run a particular cycle, where the sub is objectified, humiliated, and degraded at every turn, remaining the center of attention while women take turns inflicting cruelty upon him or forcing him to partake in some act to please her.  They don’t see him as an equal or person of worth, he is a tool and an object for their amusement.  His feelings, suffering, tears, and cries are of little consequence as they violate, ravage, and exploit him in every way imaginable.

Why is a sub drawn to this fantasy?  It feels real and true.

They see him for what he is.  They treat him as what he is.  He is lesser.  He is pitiable and pathetic.  He is not worth being treated as a “real man” or even a “real person.”  The way they act towards him is what he knows he is deep inside.

They give him worth.  They use him.  He is able to please them in some way and be useful in some way.  Without this opportunity, he is useless and worthless.  He knows this and is happy to be there.

The women and himself are not equals.  The pleasure and benefits are one-sided because the women are worthy and deserve to have pleasure.  His pleasure is ignored/denied and instead he experiences only suffering, because that is what he is worthy of and deserves for being what he is.

What makes this a fantasy?  That a group of women keeps him around and that he is a focal point if not the center of attention.  Deep down he knows that he doesn’t deserve this attention, yet he pines for it, hoping that it could true.

This fantasy isn’t representative of a healthy self-image.  It is one based upon fears of rejection, acceptance of severe (perceived) faults/inadequacies, and years of deterioration of self-confidence.  This fantasy validates all of those views to be true, but with the added twist of being accepted/tolerated in their presence.  It is the fantasy of someone who feels marginalized.

It’s interesting when you think about it.  Some people fantasize about a cadre of women desiring them and getting to have sex with them all at once.  A noticeable step down would even be to imagine encountering a group of women that take interest in you and want to get to know, enjoy your company, and want to be your friend.  This is that bottom rung where those women simply see you as a “thing,” but at least that thing is something that is a positive to them.  It is the fantasy of someone who deep down has given up on being more/better than this.  I can relate.

The next level is that the “women” are the composite representation of “all women.”  How they treat him is how all women see him and think he should be treated.  If the women are unfamiliar to him, their views won’t be biased by knowing him as a person, and their feelings are the feelings of every woman in the world.  This becomes further validation for him having his fears and doubts about himself.  While this isn’t really logical, when you are ashamed of what you are, this is how things tend to work in processing it all.

Lastly, packs of women that are sharing a good time can often build momentum and reach levels of cruelty and dismissive attitudes that exceed what they would be capable of in a one-on-one environment.  This allows the fantasy to escalate far beyond a sub’s comfort zone and bring about acts that a sub doesn’t feel comfortable asking for or that they can imagine a woman wanting to do.  The “mob” can easily take things too far, but in a way that a sub wants to experience.

So… this is basically my assessment of this fantasy as I was able to describe it to my friend.  I’m sure some people may experience this differently, but I believe this is how it may work for a lot of subs.

28 thoughts on “554. Analyzing the Multiple-Domme Fantasy

  1. It’s funny how some of the motivations mirror mine from the other side and some are completely different and perhaps even at odds with each other. For example, I also find the idea of the women egging each other on to greater cruelty to be super hot. I like the baked-in premise that our pleasure and preferences matter and yours don’t. The status divide that is utterly unbreachable is highly arousing.

    But there’s another layer where I want my pitiable, pathetic creature to be desired. I want it to do well. I want to be proud of it. I want to see my friends’ eyes burn with desire for my thing. To be jealous of me for possessing such a delicious little treat. To understand that I have the very best one, and hope I will continue to allow access to my toy.

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  2. I also wonder if there is an element of “that’s all I’m good for”. Right? Plus sheer fun. If you have a main Domme you trust and knows you and knows your limits and desires. Someone you can anchor to and know you are safe even in the midst of all that. No?

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    1. Know anyone like that, furcissy? A Domme you trust who is into a lot of the same stuff you are and with whom you share a friend group of other Dommes who would love to see you cry?

      Poor, lucky boy used to think this was a “safe” fantasy because it felt unattainable. How’s that calculation looking now, cutie? 😉

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    2. “That’s all that I’m good for” is definitely a big part of it. I know in my case, the draw of this fantasy is partly rooted in the fact that things can go too far in a hurry and feeling a bit unsafe and out of control is a big part that fuels it.

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        1. A lot of subs will wall off and either shut down or pull out of space if things start feeling this way. Only a minority of them will be able to continue on through this point. I fall into the latter category.

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  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As someone who recently left just such a group I find your description pretty close. Obviously with different Dommes and subs it may present differently but I like to think that regardless of cruelty it’s all done in “fun” whose is definitely in question.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the feedback. I haven’t had the chance to experience this as the focal point, but I have been on the fringes of them before and things can get moving at a rather rapid pace once the momentum begins to build.

      Take care.

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        1. I tend to fly on the CNC end of the spectrum with only a couple of limits, but I can imagine that could be overwhelming/terrifying for someone who is looking for a more controlled setting.

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  4. Yes! This has been a fantasy of mine for many, many, many years! And you’re very accurate in your analysis. My fantasy usually has a primary dominatrix with two lesser that serve Her, and I’m always on the bottom serving all three. Not sure how I’d ever make it a reality.

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    1. Thank you for sharing. Having a hierarchy in play is probably more difficult to achieve than women of “equal standing,” but it could be possible in the right environment. I have been drawn to that sort of system in fantasy as well over the years.

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    2. In my incident that caused me to part from the group stems from being topped by a specific Domme, I refused to let her use me in that way, and the one who had control over my being involved in the scene forgot, it happened and I was reluctant to call red. It got sorted out but not before the damage was done.

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        1. Mistress decided that I wasn’t allowed to play with them anymore. It’s ok by me but ATM we are separated from each other by a couple hours driving. Truth be told it didn’t feel safe without her with me, the stand-in for her I lost my trust in, also part of why I’m moving to her. Then when I play she will be with me. It’s in my experience, unless you have a solid relationship with your Domme and she trusts her seconds and thirds it’s best for the sub to enjoy solo play, regardless of how many subs

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        2. Well given that over the 7mo I spent doing service for many of them I felt I knew them well enough. It’s not that any were strangers. All had played with me before. Trusting them on the other hand not necessarily.

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