Note: A lot of this will be rehashed topics from the past year but it is on my mind.
A Domme friend of mine recently asked me why her sub has this recurring fantasy about being exposed to, humiliated in front of, and used by a group of (presumably dominant) women. I find this topic to be rather intriguing because I also fantasize about this. I also know that her sub shares a fairly similar submissive psychological profile to my own, so a lot of my theories/beliefs about this would likely be true for him as well.
The multiple-Domme fantasy is a powerful one because it affects a sub upon several levels simultaneously.
The first of note is that it validates the sub’s fears and inner-narrative. Subs of this style tend to have a lot of fears that coincide with a negatively-skewed (but arousing) view of self in relation to women. These fantasies tend to run a particular cycle, where the sub is objectified, humiliated, and degraded at every turn, remaining the center of attention while women take turns inflicting cruelty upon him or forcing him to partake in some act to please her. They don’t see him as an equal or person of worth, he is a tool and an object for their amusement. His feelings, suffering, tears, and cries are of little consequence as they violate, ravage, and exploit him in every way imaginable.
Why is a sub drawn to this fantasy? It feels real and true.
They see him for what he is. They treat him as what he is. He is lesser. He is pitiable and pathetic. He is not worth being treated as a “real man” or even a “real person.” The way they act towards him is what he knows he is deep inside.
They give him worth. They use him. He is able to please them in some way and be useful in some way. Without this opportunity, he is useless and worthless. He knows this and is happy to be there.
The women and himself are not equals. The pleasure and benefits are one-sided because the women are worthy and deserve to have pleasure. His pleasure is ignored/denied and instead he experiences only suffering, because that is what he is worthy of and deserves for being what he is.
What makes this a fantasy? That a group of women keeps him around and that he is a focal point if not the center of attention. Deep down he knows that he doesn’t deserve this attention, yet he pines for it, hoping that it could true.
This fantasy isn’t representative of a healthy self-image. It is one based upon fears of rejection, acceptance of severe (perceived) faults/inadequacies, and years of deterioration of self-confidence. This fantasy validates all of those views to be true, but with the added twist of being accepted/tolerated in their presence. It is the fantasy of someone who feels marginalized.
It’s interesting when you think about it. Some people fantasize about a cadre of women desiring them and getting to have sex with them all at once. A noticeable step down would even be to imagine encountering a group of women that take interest in you and want to get to know, enjoy your company, and want to be your friend. This is that bottom rung where those women simply see you as a “thing,” but at least that thing is something that is a positive to them. It is the fantasy of someone who deep down has given up on being more/better than this. I can relate.
The next level is that the “women” are the composite representation of “all women.” How they treat him is how all women see him and think he should be treated. If the women are unfamiliar to him, their views won’t be biased by knowing him as a person, and their feelings are the feelings of every woman in the world. This becomes further validation for him having his fears and doubts about himself. While this isn’t really logical, when you are ashamed of what you are, this is how things tend to work in processing it all.
Lastly, packs of women that are sharing a good time can often build momentum and reach levels of cruelty and dismissive attitudes that exceed what they would be capable of in a one-on-one environment. This allows the fantasy to escalate far beyond a sub’s comfort zone and bring about acts that a sub doesn’t feel comfortable asking for or that they can imagine a woman wanting to do. The “mob” can easily take things too far, but in a way that a sub wants to experience.
So… this is basically my assessment of this fantasy as I was able to describe it to my friend. I’m sure some people may experience this differently, but I believe this is how it may work for a lot of subs.