I’ve known for a while now that I’m intensely demisexual. I still haven’t come to fully grasp how different I am wired on that front compared to most people.
At times this made me wonder then why I get intensely anxious around women that are taller than me. I’m not talking a bad kind of anxious, but like an irresistible force pulling me in while I try to fight against it at all costs. I’m rarely ever drawn in by physical appearances and this bothered me for years.
I realized a couple of days ago that my first time feeling a good kind of submissive to a woman and being intensely attracted to her was the girl that used to tie me up when I was younger. At some point in that process, she was 5’7″ and I was like 3’9″. When I remembered that it was like, “oh.”
Question answered. It’s a submissive mental space trigger for me that happens beyond my own control. It’s not the only space trigger that happens to me that way, but this is the only one I will talk about here.