583. The Wild West Era of Femdom

Originally Posted on Fetlife I’ve been wanting to write about this subject for a while now for a myriad of reasons. Some of them are personal, and some are because I feel that this will help explain things like the shortage of both subs and Dommes that surface within local communities and the types of …

581. Expressing Desires through Fiction

Originally posted on Fetlife. My apologies if this seems unfocused or a bit jumbled. I still haven't been sleeping well and my brain is turning to mush. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection and having a lot of conversations about people’s struggles in kink. I find that the …

580. Emotional Masochism: Despair

Originally posted on Fetlife. Despair is one of my kinks that resides within the darkness. I find that it isn’t talked about much. I don’t know many dominants that are drawn to pushing a sub to despair, at least I never hear it talked about. I’m not sure why. Is it because no one thinks …

577. Submissive Mental Spaces and Emotional Masochism

Originally posted on Fetlife. I haven’t written much on submissive mental spaces here on Fetlife, but since they are one of the foundational concepts from which I think about these topics, I figure it is probably important for me to write about them. I want to make it absolutely clear that I am not talking …

576. Emotional Masochism: The Darkness

Originally posted on Fetlife. I’ve been writing a lot about emotional masochism lately and discussing it with quite a few people so it’s probably time that I bring up a term that I have used frequently in my previous writings on the subject: The Darkness. In some cases I will talk about “going dark.” In …

574. My Worst Nightmare

Originally posted on Fetlife. Today I experienced my worst nightmare. I made a post on Fetlife that somehow got a quite lot of attention along with a flood of comments from total strangers. My soul is screaming with agony and regret. I’m weak. I don’t remember the last time I felt strong. I’m a coward. …

573. Random Thought of the Day: Tall Women

I've known for a while now that I'm intensely demisexual. I still haven't come to fully grasp how different I am wired on that front compared to most people. At times this made me wonder then why I get intensely anxious around women that are taller than me. I'm not talking a bad kind of …

572. Hostile vs. Neutral vs. Welcoming Profiles

Originally composed for Fetlife. Author's Note: This post was written with the assumption that people do want to receive friendly and respectful messages from people and may not be applicable to everyone. I recently talked with a friend that was thinking about redoing their Fetlife profile. Their old profile began with a giant over-sized bold …

571. Emotional Masochism/Sadism: Humiliation vs. Degradation

Originally composed for Fetlife. I received a question about this in reference to a writing I posted a few days ago and it came up again in a couple of in-person conversations. I know that quite a few people use degradation and humiliation as synonyms when it comes to emotional masochism and sadism. Oddly enough, …

570. Emotional Masochism: Fear of Rejection and Submissive Response

I’m currently working on evolving my theories about emotional masochism and had a “new discovery” about it the other day. Apparently, I’m the last one on Earth to realize this about myself, but I hadn’t rationally connected it nor talked about it before. Usually I would wait until I have further developed my understanding of …