592. Mitigating Risk with Emotional Sadism and Masochism

I was recently asked what I do to mitigate potential risks when it comes to ES/EM. While I have written a ton on ES/EM sometimes including what I believe the parameters of doing it safely are, I realized that I don't think I have written at great length with this as the focus. It is …

580. Emotional Masochism: Despair

Despair is one of my kinks that resides within the darkness. I find that it isn’t talked about much. I don’t know many dominants that are drawn to pushing a sub to despair, at least I never hear it talked about. I’m not sure why. Is it because no one thinks that any sub actually …

577. Submissive Mental Spaces and Emotional Masochism

I haven’t written much on submissive mental spaces here on Fetlife, but since they are one of the foundational concepts from which I think about these topics, I figure it is probably important for me to write about them. I want to make it absolutely clear that I am not talking about the endorphin/adrenaline high …

576. Emotional Masochism: The Darkness

I’ve been writing a lot about emotional masochism lately and discussing it with quite a few people so it’s probably time that I bring up a term that I have used frequently in my previous writings on the subject: The Darkness. In some cases I will talk about “going dark.” In others, I will speak …

571. Emotional Masochism/Sadism: Humiliation vs. Degradation

I received a question about this in reference to a writing I posted a few days ago and it came up again in a couple of in-person conversations. I know that quite a few people use degradation and humiliation as synonyms when it comes to emotional masochism and sadism. Oddly enough, I find that this …

559. Thoughts on “Owning it”

This is a follow-up to my last post. I've been thinking more about the healing potential of people owning their inner demons rather than overcoming them.  I know that this is something that I have experienced in some ways.  I can't re-write how my inner-truths work but I can come to terms with them and …

558. Emotional Masochism: “Owning it” vs. Healing

Within the past month or so, I have had a number of interactions with people who were curious about emotional masochism and the possibility of incorporating it into their experiences, play, or dynamics.  A couple of the people were looking specifically at using it as a means to heal from past or accumulated psychological damage. …

557. Thoughts on Degradation vs. Humiliation

A short while ago someone asked me for tips on how to humiliate a sub.  What began as a set of tips soon evolved into a 20,000+ word multi-part write up that had me delving to every aspect I could think of on the subject.  I thought about posting it here, but the response was …