589. A personal summary update 2023

I have been struggling badly with my mental health since late-2019. Along that journey I have learned that I had un-diagnosed PTSD and cPTSD. I have gone through the gauntlet of therapy, medications, and experimental depression treatments. I am still unwell. In many ways, I'm worse now than I was back then. I've struggled like …

584. Life Updates 2022

It has been almost a year and a half since my last post (or about a year if you happen to follow my other blog as well) and I'm finally reaching a point where I can gather my thoughts enough to write something. For the past two and a half years, I haven't been doing …

579. WTF Sexuality? Part 2

I received a few comments on part 1 that I will reply to on their own, but I also wanted to write about one of them here because it was a good question. The equilibrium in which I live is a fragile balance that relies heavily upon having a firm understanding of myself to fall …

578. WTF Sexuality?

Trying to understand my sexuality was a lot easier when I was younger. Even though none of the words truly fit what I felt like I was, there were only a handful of words to choose from. Straight, Gay, Bi. Boom. Easy. Pick the one that is closest and run with it without ever having …

560. Checking in 06/19/20

I am still alive... kind of.  I started some anti-anxiety medications a few months ago for the first time in 20+ years and they have pretty much eradicated my submissive side and desire to be social so I haven't been keeping up on reading blogs or writing.  This break will probably last until that part of …

131. Thoughts on a Friday

For the first half of my life I was not a good person. I was selfish and sarcastic bordering on hostile. While I was able to force myself to change when I was around 16, the first 15 years aren't something I am very proud of. This past year I have started to connect all …

75. Personal ramblings on submission

This past weekend I had a bit of an epiphany regarding my submission.  It has only been in the past year or so that I was aware of the term "little" (as a noun) and how prevalent it was in the M/f realm.  I have/had a very deep level of subspace which was pretty much …