554. Analyzing the Multiple-Domme Fantasy

Note: A lot of this will be rehashed topics from the past year but it is on my mind. A Domme friend of mine recently asked me why her sub has this recurring fantasy about being exposed to, humiliated in front of, and used by a group of (presumably dominant) women.  I find this topic …

553. The Evolving Narrative

I have pretty much given up on the idea of healing certain parts of my damage.  These are the parts that I have been able to integrate into my submission and I honestly find them... addictive to have to face them within the confines of my submission.  Facing the damage head on acts as fuel …

552. Failing to Balance the Two Spaces Part 2

I lost my train of thought while writing Post 551 and never managed to circle back in the way that I had hoped. Over the years I have become well aware of the tug of war between my mental spaces that encompass my service submission and my emotional masochism.  There is no real balance.  Neglect …

551. Failing to Balance the Two Spaces

Something that I have been struggling with lately is the battle between my two submissive mental spaces. There is my service-side. There is my emotional masochist side. Each of these spaces has a distinctly different feel to them and an entirely separate set of preferences, ideals, and philosophies that govern them. My service side wants …

548. A Type of Sub-Frenzy

I was able to deduce this morning that the struggles I have been having that I wrote about in 546 and 547 are actually being magnified by sub-frenzy.  While I'm sure that depression is playing some part, the real issue at hand is is that I have been so stressed out that I have not …

547. Thoughts on expressing what I am

In the past month or two I have made some new friends within the community that are 10-15 years older than me and been active in kink nearly as long or longer than I have.  They have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable.  They want me to feel safe being my …

545. Submissive Men: Too Many and Too Few

Over the years I have written numerous times about how submissive men vastly outnumber dominant women.  Over the years I have also read many accounts of dominant women stating that there are a shortage of submissive men. Which one of these views is correct?   Both. It is possible for both to be true based upon …

537. Thoughts on Shame as a Fetish

I'm back from a bit of a break.  I had some health concerns pop up that were causing an immense amount of stress but are starting to get resolved. Over the past few weeks it has become apparent that I really have made a lot of friends in the kink community here (and I also …

536. What I am (2019)

Some comments on a couple of recent posts made me realize that it has been a while that I have really talked much at all about my submission and the dynamics that I desire.  There are definitely reasons that I hide parts of myself both while blogging and in my local BDSM community.  I don't …

532. A sub’s thoughts on Domme Profiles

Last year I did a lot of writing about male sub profiles, writing introductory messages, and the like.  With the ramp up in meeting people in person at social events and inevitably reading the profiles of the people I am meeting another related topic has come to mind lately. Now that I think about it, …