582. Recent postings and Fetlife

Sorry for the post barrage today. The majority of posts that I have written lately I composed for Fetlife. They were meant for the ~200ish people on there that I am friends with or are following me. I have rarely if ever put any of my blog writing on Fetlife before, so a lot of …

581. Expressing Desires through Fiction

Originally posted on Fetlife. My apologies if this seems unfocused or a bit jumbled. I still haven't been sleeping well and my brain is turning to mush. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection and having a lot of conversations about people’s struggles in kink. I find that the …

580. Emotional Masochism: Despair

Originally posted on Fetlife. Despair is one of my kinks that resides within the darkness. I find that it isn’t talked about much. I don’t know many dominants that are drawn to pushing a sub to despair, at least I never hear it talked about. I’m not sure why. Is it because no one thinks …

579. WTF Sexuality? Part 2

Originally posted on Fetlife I received a few comments on part 1 that I will reply to on their own, but I also wanted to write about one of them here because it was a good question. The equilibrium in which I live is a fragile balance that relies heavily upon having a firm understanding …

578. WTF Sexuality?

Originally posted on Fetlife Trying to understand my sexuality was a lot easier when I was younger. Even though none of the words truly fit what I felt like I was, there were only a handful of words to choose from. Straight, Gay, Bi. Boom. Easy. Pick the one that is closest and run with …

577. Submissive Mental Spaces and Emotional Masochism

Originally posted on Fetlife. I haven’t written much on submissive mental spaces here on Fetlife, but since they are one of the foundational concepts from which I think about these topics, I figure it is probably important for me to write about them. I want to make it absolutely clear that I am not talking …

576. Emotional Masochism: The Darkness

Originally posted on Fetlife. I’ve been writing a lot about emotional masochism lately and discussing it with quite a few people so it’s probably time that I bring up a term that I have used frequently in my previous writings on the subject: The Darkness. In some cases I will talk about “going dark.” In …

575. I am a cishet presenting male that is afraid of other cishet presenting males

Originally posted on Fetlife Lately I feel like I have some friendships forming with other males for the first time in a long time. It has been over a decade since that happened. It’s not that I’m opposed to those friendships, it’s just far more difficult for me to open up in them and develop …

574. My Worst Nightmare

Originally posted on Fetlife. Today I experienced my worst nightmare. I made a post on Fetlife that somehow got a quite lot of attention along with a flood of comments from total strangers. My soul is screaming with agony and regret. I’m weak. I don’t remember the last time I felt strong. I’m a coward. …

573. Random Thought of the Day: Tall Women

I've known for a while now that I'm intensely demisexual. I still haven't come to fully grasp how different I am wired on that front compared to most people. At times this made me wonder then why I get intensely anxious around women that are taller than me. I'm not talking a bad kind of …