One of the more individual views that people in D/s have is how the dynamics of their relationship appear to outsiders. Some have a group of kink-aware friends they keep separate from their vanilla friends. Some have a few trusted confidants they share their lifestyle with. Some keep it a secret from everyone. In my … Continue reading 462. Thoughts on Appearances
Something that I crave is the existence of dynamics that are always on. While the actual protocols may shift regularly in order to accommodate life, a lot of D/s is about what happens in the mind. I would say that it is far more common for subs to have desires to feel dominance that exceed … Continue reading 461. Thoughts on Environmental D/s
The blogosphere is littered with accounts of subs talking about struggling to communicate their needs and desires. This is especially true when they hit a state of frenzy, and it is often the reason that they reached frenzy in the first place. There are various reasons why people do not communicate what they need. A … Continue reading 460. Thoughts on Communication Struggles and Submissive Guilt
If it ever seems like I speak out against a lot of ideas, it is probably because they often inspire me to write. I get interested in points of view that differ from mine. When a point of view differs, I want to understand it and figure out where it came from, how they got … Continue reading 459. Thoughts on What is Romantic in D/s
Every gender and role has its its own set of obstacles to contend with. Generally when I write about those topics I tend to focus on how things are and the process of getting there. While everyone has their own set of ideas on what things would be like in a perfect world, the pragmatic … Continue reading 458. Thoughts on Jaded vs. Soured
I have been writing a lot lately but I realize that I have been writing a lot more logical, rational, and emotionally-detached thoughts than much involving my personal feelings. While I feel pretty safe to say that I am clear of my depression that lasted way too long this year, I'm not feeling 100%. My … Continue reading 457. A Personal Update
It's difficult for me to see myself as desirable. I know that I have strengths. I am smart, compassionate, and have a big heart. I am romantic, empathetic, funny, and loyal. I am responsible and motivated, competent and decisive. As a sub, I am dedicated, loving, and willing and versatile enough to be whatever she … Continue reading 456. Thoughts on Awareness and Self-Image
In the past I have written about the differing psychological effects on submission of various methods of restraints. I have felt that chain can affect someone differently than say, rope or cloth. I have felt that steel and locks can affect someone differently than the "honor system," velcro, standard buckles, or snap hooks. I've never … Continue reading 455. Thoughts on views on locks, restraints, etc.
I was reading a journal entry on fetlife of a Domme friend about D/s dating and the tiresome aspect of being messaged by more subs than she cares to deal with. A sub left a comment with the idea that maybe there should to be a F/m dating site where anyone can make a profile, … Continue reading 454. Who sends the first message?
Have you ever noticed that popular portrayals of powerful women never seem to directly lead to an uptick in the number of Dommes? I find it oddly curious since portrayals of M/f scenarios often contribute heavily to interested in that side of D/s and BDSM, yet things don't seem to flow in the other direction. … Continue reading 453. Do you ever wonder why portrayals of powerful women…