Thoughts on Expectations in D/s

So much of D/s involves transitioning your submissive self away from the internal submissive desires (what will you do to me?) to external focuses (what can I do for you?).  This often serves as the balancing act, preventing you from treading into the dangerous realm of "do me sub" or "wanker" labels and turning your …

Advertisements

Thoughts on Cognitive Dissonance

Another topic I have been covering in some private discussions lately is the idea of cognitive dissonance. In its basic form, cognitive dissonance is mental anguish you experience when your brain battles itself.  In D/s, it frequently occurs in humiliation, when an act or verbal statement makes you feel something is true, but wish that …

Thoughts on Verbal Triggers

I had a bit of a discussion yesterday with someone about verbal triggers and it got me thinking about it more.  Verbal triggers are quite fascinating to me because something that requires such little work can have such a great impact upon submissive mental space. There are different ways this works.  Verbal reinforcement.  Providing motive …

Party On, Wayne

On the Blogger version of my blog today I received a complimentary post from a reader that posts under the anonymous tag but credits himself as, Wayne.  He has left comments twice now, and I must say, his words actually help to validate a lot of what I have written lately. I'm not posting this …

I feel so very lucky

The past few days have made me feel so very lucky to be here.  I have made a number of new friends.  I have shared in deep personal conversations with some of them.  I have been able to help when I can.  I feel appreciated by them. This is the blogging experience that I feel …

Thoughts on what I tell others

Disclaimer:  I'm not in a bad mood.  I'm in a pretty good mood.  The past couple of weeks blogging I have felt more accepted than I ever have over these 7 and a half years.  These are just some thoughts swirling around in regards to comments on earlier posts. 2nd Disclaimer:  I actually received some …

Thoughts on scape-goating, hierarchies, and relativism

I thought about posting this upon my blog that I keep certain topics separated on, but after giving it some thought, it seems to fit in with the posts I have made over the past few days. One of the more horrific historical trends since the beginning of written history are the trends of the …