433. Thoughts on Being Proactive

A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about proactive behavior from the sub in a D/s relationship. This topic is a little bit polarizing in that you will find Dommes that tend to fall on rather extreme ends of the spectrum when it comes to proactive behavior from their subs.  On one end, …

432. Thoughts on Dismissals and Rejection

A Domme friend of mine told me today that she plans to dismiss her sub.  She asked what the best way to do it without hurting him was. My response was to just tell him and to also tell him why.  While the ripping the band-aid off punch in the face might seem like it …

431. Thoughts on Self-Love and D/s Part 2

This is a follow-up post to 428. Thoughts on Self-Love and D/s While the self-love aspect that intrigued me the most had to do with the extreme ends of dominance and submission, I have found that there are many implications for less extreme cases as well.  It also helped me understand more about my own …

430. Amazing what a little sunshine will do

Three days in a row of temperatures in the 50's and sunshine and I finally don't feel like garbage.  My brain is still a little bit cloudy, but the cobwebs cleared enough to write today.  Things are looking up.  Winter went way too long this year.

429. Revisiting “Dominance as a favor”

The thoughts surrounding my last post opened up a whole new perspective to me.  This has, in turn, caused me to rethink my understanding of the idea of "dominance as a favor." For those who haven't read my rants about this idea in the past, dominance as a favor is a train of thought that …

428. Thoughts on Self-Love and D/s Part 1

Yesterday I had an epiphany while attempting to write some fiction.  Over the years I have encountered a handful of Dommes that I would describe as completely self-assured.  They have a level of self-confidence that is both understated yet completely obvious.  They have presence.  What is interesting is that they rarely if ever seem to …

427. Thoughts on Distance, Time, etc.

When it comes to relationships, I consider both time and distance to be basically the same thing.  Both of them symbolize "availability." I know a handful of people that partake in long distance D/s.  I am fairly open about my unwillingness to do this.  The decision isn't based upon some whim or idea... it's rooted …

426. Update

I have had a number of people check in with me since I haven't posted in 5 days, so I figured I should make a post. Yes, I am here and alive. My depression has peaked and I'm dealing with it as best I can but I have had to shut down emotionally for the …

425. Thoughts on Differences

Some comments on my last post got me thinking a bit about the habits of people in BDSM and D/s and why there is a tendency for them to flock to others of a similar type while mostly ignoring people who engage in a different type of lifestyle dynamic.  I will fully admit that when …

424. Thoughts on Consent or Not

Often you will come across philosophies on D/s that conflict with one another on a fundamental level.  When people of different types encounter one another it can be difficult for them to communicate effectively because their perspectives are so different.  One example of this is people who engage in loving, romantic D/s relationships vs. those …