I lost my train of thought while writing Post 551 and never managed to circle back in the way that I had hoped. Over the years I have become well aware of the tug of war between my mental spaces that encompass my service submission and my emotional masochism. There is no real balance. Neglect … Continue reading 552. Failing to Balance the Two Spaces Part 2
Tag: submission
551. Failing to Balance the Two Spaces
Something that I have been struggling with lately is the battle between my two submissive mental spaces. There is my service-side. There is my emotional masochist side. Each of these spaces has a distinctly different feel to them and an entirely separate set of preferences, ideals, and philosophies that govern them. My service side wants … Continue reading 551. Failing to Balance the Two Spaces
548. A Type of Sub-Frenzy
I was able to deduce this morning that the struggles I have been having that I wrote about in 546 and 547 are actually being magnified by sub-frenzy. While I'm sure that depression is playing some part, the real issue at hand is is that I have been so stressed out that I have not … Continue reading 548. A Type of Sub-Frenzy
547. Thoughts on expressing what I am
In the past month or two I have made some new friends within the community that are 10-15 years older than me and been active in kink nearly as long or longer than I have. They have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable. They want me to feel safe being my … Continue reading 547. Thoughts on expressing what I am
537. Thoughts on Shame as a Fetish
I'm back from a bit of a break. I had some health concerns pop up that were causing an immense amount of stress but are starting to get resolved. Over the past few weeks it has become apparent that I really have made a lot of friends in the kink community here (and I also … Continue reading 537. Thoughts on Shame as a Fetish
536. What I am (2019)
Some comments on a couple of recent posts made me realize that it has been a while that I have really talked much at all about my submission and the dynamics that I desire. There are definitely reasons that I hide parts of myself both while blogging and in my local BDSM community. I don't … Continue reading 536. What I am (2019)
530. “A Positive Submissive Response”
Over the past few months I have had quite a few discussions while trying to explain how the mechanics of D/s tend to work in various environments, especially in regards to subs. What I have found is that as a whole, there is very little common understanding of what subs "get out of it" if … Continue reading 530. “A Positive Submissive Response”
528. Thoughts on Submissive Male Shame and Emotional Masochism
Some days I wonder why I keep on blogging. It's not that I have a reason to stop, it's that I find it harder to have a reason to continue. In any case... A week ago I took part in a Femdom discussion munch that chose my topic of emotional sadism and masochism. I had … Continue reading 528. Thoughts on Submissive Male Shame and Emotional Masochism
523. Thoughts on Feeling Submissive vs. Being Dominated
So I've been writing and scrapping versions of this post for roughly three months now. I've had a number of conversations about this topic over the past couple of months as well, but I have never been happy enough with the end result to publish it and they ended up on the trash heap. Here … Continue reading 523. Thoughts on Feeling Submissive vs. Being Dominated
520. Thoughts on Service and Servitude
For the duration of my blogging "career," I have encouraged subs to try to become more service-oriented. To me, service-oriented submission is to find fulfillment in their submission in the ways that benefit a Domme and provide enhancements to her life and lifestyle. When I first got started as a sub, I was more of … Continue reading 520. Thoughts on Service and Servitude