537. Thoughts on Shame as a Fetish

I'm back from a bit of a break.  I had some health concerns pop up that were causing an immense amount of stress but are starting to get resolved. Over the past few weeks it has become apparent that I really have made a lot of friends in the kink community here (and I also …

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536. What I am (2019)

Some comments on a couple of recent posts made me realize that it has been a while that I have really talked much at all about my submission and the dynamics that I desire.  There are definitely reasons that I hide parts of myself both while blogging and in my local BDSM community.  I don't …

530. “A Positive Submissive Response”

Over the past few months I have had quite a few discussions while trying to explain how the mechanics of D/s tend to work in various environments, especially in regards to subs. What I have found is that as a whole, there is very little common understanding of what subs "get out of it" if …

528. Thoughts on Submissive Male Shame and Emotional Masochism

Some days I wonder why I keep on blogging.  It's not that I have a reason to stop, it's that I find it harder to have a reason to continue.  In any case... A week ago I took part in a Femdom discussion munch that chose my topic of emotional sadism and masochism.   I had …

523. Thoughts on Feeling Submissive vs. Being Dominated

So I've been writing and scrapping versions of this post for roughly three months now.  I've had a number of conversations about this topic over the past couple of months as well, but I have never been happy enough with the end result to publish it and they ended up on the trash heap.  Here …

520. Thoughts on Service and Servitude

For the duration of my blogging "career," I have encouraged subs to try to become more service-oriented.  To me, service-oriented submission is to find fulfillment in their submission in the ways that benefit a Domme and provide enhancements to her life and lifestyle. When I first got started as a sub, I was more of …

518. Recent Community Experiences

Her: "You know, all the other subs are jealous of you, right?" Me: "What?  Who?  What?  Jealous of what?" Her: "All of the male subs.  They are all jealous of you." Me: "What?  Jealous of what?" Her: "That Dommes talk to you and pay attention to what you have to say.  I can't believe you …

502. Discussion Topic Write-Up: Mental Spaces in BDSM v. 1.0 (12/20/2018)

I am writing this from the standpoint of introducing these ideas and concepts as part of a discussion group and may include ideas and concepts that I have discussed in earlier posts. As this is designed for a Femdom discussion group, it may lean more heavily towards the F/m end of the spectrum although I …

494. Explaining “The Assignment”

Sweetgirl's latest post talked about an exercise that I frequently encourage for subs.  It is something that I encouraged her to do early on and it is something that I recommend for subs that are newer or are in relationships and looking to take D/s to the next level.  I thought that it would be …

491. More submissive mental space and swimming pools fun

Some recent talks have brought me back to thinking about submissive mental space and various other spaces and I wanted to write a little bit more about it now.  As I often do, I will be referring to submissive mental space as "subspace" in an attempt to take back a word that has had its …