Tag: submission

Thinking more about Submissive Mental Space

Submissive mental space (or subspace, as I prefer to refer to it), is one of my favorite topics to discuss.  I believe that it serves such an integral place in submission and the healthy maintenance of a D/s relationship, yet it gets talked about so infrequently as a whole.  I have asked the question of … Continue reading Thinking more about Submissive Mental Space


Thoughts on Contexts and Embarrassment

A recent conversation with a blogging friend has made me realize just how obsessed I am with explaining myself.  I find myself constantly unable to share something without needing to link it to all parts involved.  By itself, it is too embarrassing and shameful for me to face.  By itself... out of context... what would … Continue reading Thoughts on Contexts and Embarrassment

The Who, What, and Why of submissive men

On my last post there were some comments from D and SayyidsGirl that I thought deserved its own post. I have covered some of this material before, but I think it has been a while.  Hopefully it doesn't sound like I am repeating myself too badly.  What I am about to write is messy and … Continue reading The Who, What, and Why of submissive men

Balanced While Broken

It took many years of my life to reach the equilibrium that I found through submission.  I was plagued for years with insecurity and uncertainty.  I was afraid of never being enough.  I was afraid of going through life unwanted and unloved.  These weren't just random thoughts, these were the lessons that years of trauma, … Continue reading Balanced While Broken

Thoughts on Submission and Bottoming

I've always found the distinction between submission and bottoming gets incredibly blurry in the world of BDSM and D/s.  People try to make a clear distinction between the two.  Many draw a line in the sand, thinking it's super important to clarify differences between the two, especially in how people label themselves as a submissive … Continue reading Thoughts on Submission and Bottoming

Thoughts on “submission as a gift” and leverage

Over the years I have often heard the phrase "submission is a gift," usually accompanied by a statement about how it should be "given freely."  The idea that submission carries with it worth and is something special is very romantic.  I consider this a noble sentiment that would hold true in a perfect world.   However, … Continue reading Thoughts on “submission as a gift” and leverage

Thoughts on Personal Acceptance

I will never be enough.  How could someone ever want someone like me? These thoughts fall at the core of my being.  They are the horrific reality that drives me. Most people don't think this way.  They have at some point had someone there for them, proving that they were okay.  Proving that they were … Continue reading Thoughts on Personal Acceptance

Reflecting on my spaces

As I have recently come to accept that I do have a submissive little space I am starting to find where the dividing lines fall between my normal submissive mental space and my submissive little space. The submissive personas that surface within each of them are rather different.  The triggers that get them there are … Continue reading Reflecting on my spaces